


awaken | hyunjin.

by reddawns



Category: Kpop - Fandom, Stray Kids, hwang hyunjin - Fandom, hyunjin - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Bromance, Coma, Fanfic, Friendship, Hospital, Humor, JYP Entertainment - Freeform, M/M, Other, Teens, changbin, felix - Freeform, hyunjin, kpop, ships, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-07-25 15:14:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 29,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16200143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddawns/pseuds/reddawns
Summary: hwang hyunjin, a human time capsule, rises from his sleep with no knowledge of his surroundings as everything he ever knew has deserted him.-trigger warning: swear words, abuse, alcoholism // not affiliated with stray kids or any other characters mentioned (lowercase intended for story description only).





	1. modern day poetry

**Author's Note:**

> this ff is completed already but i will be posting the chapters separately to spread it out more. you can also find it on wattpad.com @ reddawns. im working on a sequel too <3
> 
> please leave comments behind so i can make the story better!

[click for a sad bop](https://youtu.be/YPoA95LA1nI)

[April 2, 2010]

"He's unresponsive."

"What are you telling me? Is my kid dead?"

"I need you to calm down, ma'am, your son is not dead. We found a pulse."

"Tell me what happened to him!"

"Ride with us to the emergency room, ma'am. Your son will be fine."

"We're losing him!"

"Clear!"

"Is there an IV drip anywhere in this damn ambulance?"

"Don't you dare let him die! He's only ten!"

"Time of death: twelve-fifteen AM."

\- 천천히 -

A Hwang Hyunjin fanfiction in which his life is lost and regained, in and out of consciousness.


	2. easter of hyunjin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you'll see

[August 11, 2018]

"What are you talking about? I was 'clinically dead?'"

Dr. Seo sympathized with Hyunjin by sighing and allowing himself to take a seat on the edge of the confused teen's bed. "Yes, but we're glad to have you back. As soon as you're ready, I'd love to go over your reports and see what you remember."

"I remember everything," Hyunjin huffed, slumping against his too-flat pillow while the doctor forked through a manilla folder. His right hand drifted upwards to his chin and stroked it thoughtfully, but Hyunjin was skeptical as to why Dr. Seo and company were making such a big deal of his awakening.

"So I take it you're comfortable with sharing?" Dr. Seo assumed, touching the rim of his glasses as he stared down at the moody teen.

"Well, no," Hyunjin blushed. The images of his friends, Chris and Felix, flashed in his brain before he continued, "I don't want to talk. I'm too tired."

"That's okay. After a coma as long as yours, we should get to physical therapy as soon as possible, but I'll let you catch up with things until tomorrow. Be up and at 'em, okay?"

 _A coma as long as yours..._ What was that supposed to mean? Hyunjin reached for the magazine on his bedside table as Dr. Seo made his way out of the room. He couldn't focus on any of the words printed on its fine pages, however, because everything became blurrier the harder he thought about Dr. Seo's strange attitude. There were circles and lines, no legible words. It all of a sudden felt like he had emerged from an underwater stay and was just handed back his old life, only he didn't know how long he had been without it and he didn't remember how to live it. The magazine, smothered in new brands and slang words, wasn't helping.

The words on the pages looked foreign to him even when he started thinking straight; it didn't take long for him to realize this wasn't his language, and out of sheer confusion, he groped along the wall behind him for a help wire. It was instinct. He regretfully clicked the red button on it several times and sat up as fast as he could without pulling a muscle, hoping no one would come to his room just to learn of his stupidity.

"What is it?" the nurse, rushing to Hyunjin's bedside, asked, eyeing him up and down to try and figure out the problem.

"Nothing," he grumbled.

She tilted her head to the side as though she were looking at a child, reaching her hand up to pat his shoulder. "Oh, honey, that button isn't a toy, it's so that you can get help without having to move anywhere. Are you bored?"

"I know it's not a toy."

"Poor kid still thinks he's ten years old," she murmured, backing up as if to leave the room. Hyunjin found this rude, as he was obviously older by at least a couple of months, and gained just enough confidence to disclose the issue to her, just so he wouldn't seem so naive:

"We're in Sydney," he gulped halfheartedly as the nurse loosened up sympathetically, "aren't we?" Everything on the magazine was written in a foreign language that Hyunjin wasn't in on.

"We're in Seoul," she informed the boy. "You shouldn't lie to your doctor, all right? I'll call him back and let him know your memory is off."

"It's not," he insisted.

"You must've dreamed you were in Australia," she explained, tightening her ponytail as she had nothing better to do with her hands. "It's common for coma patients to wake up thinking their dreams or hallucinations were real occurrences. In fact, your dream is probably what caused you to stir so much over the years."

His heart stopped. "Years?"

The nurse froze in her position, arms still held behind her head as she didn't realize she would have to be the one to tell Hyunjin how long he had been in the hospital.

"Yes," she confirmed, slowly and shamefully bringing her hands to her sides. "You've been here eight years. You turned eighteen a couple months ago."

"That's impossible," Hyunjin laughed. "You wouldn't have let me stay here for eight whole years. I'd be underground."

The nurse was hesitant and antsy now, refusing to look Hyunjin in the eye in case he became hysterical at the shocking news. "Let me go get Dr. Seo. He'll explain it better than I can."

With that, Hyunjin sunk deeper into his mattress, the one he had been stuck lying on for longer than he could imagine, terrified that he might in fact be an 18-year-old boy with imaginary friends; he couldn't read the language he was speaking and had been under the illusion that the latest block of his life took place in Sydney, Australia. He was done living in oblivion yet still overbearingly oblivious to everything.

\- 천천히 -

No words could come out of his mouth. There wasn't one to describe what he was seeing: it was everything from familiar to bittersweet to nightmarish, but he couldn't place why no matter how deep in his brain he searched. His mother returned the cold glare, doubting that this really was her son.

"He's so much taller," she muttered, fusing her palm to the ball of Dr. Seo's shoulder so he wouldn't leave her alone with this teenager. "Why's he so skinny? Did you starve my son?"

"Mrs. Hwang, we've been feeding him every day."

"And what about his arms? There are marks," she pointed out, nodding at the line of dots and bruises on the inside of Hyunjin's elbows. This prompted the skeptical boy to peer down at the dots, tuning out of Dr. Seo and his mother's conversation. His hand began to cramp the longer he leaned on his cane, so he sat on the bed again, using only slow movements (Dr. Seo told him that because he had been bedridden for years, physical therapy was imperative). It was difficult just standing, as his knees were jelly-like and sore.

"Dr. Seo," he said suddenly, interrupting the two seniors unknowingly. "I would like to stay here for a while."

"You don't want to go home?"

"With all due respect, this is my home." Hyunjin forced his leaden legs back onto his bed and lay down, stretching before Dr. Seo or his mother had a chance to change his mind.

"Yes, it may seem that way, but because you're up again, we must send you home. Your mother will regularly take you to physical therapy and make sure you can see your friends again."

The woman frowned at the word _friends_ and shifted her weight, crossing her arms across her chest so they pushed into her pudgy core. She turned to Dr. Seo and forcefully whispered, "You think he still has friends? After eight years, you think anyone stayed by his side?"

Hyunjin suddenly remembered why he felt uneasy around his mother. She was faking her sentiment. She didn't even recognize him--she never came to visit?

"I sincerely apologize, Mrs. Hwang, but perhaps you should be a little more sensitive," Dr. Seo reasoned. His eyes were desperate.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, shaking her head as she peered between Dr. Seo and Hyunjin. She suddenly asked her son, "You remember me, don't you?" The adults turned their attention to the careless Hyunjin whose arms were folded up behind his head like a pillow and whose eyes were trained on the ceiling. He was rather entertained by the discussion between his mother and Dr. Seo, but despite this, he didn't want to force himself to acknowledge that there was a time in his life where his mother neglected him.

"Hmm?" he asked, pretending to be preoccupied.

Mrs. Hwang gently smiled--it gave Hyunjin the impression that she was, in fact, pretty in the past but had long since been corrupted--and sat on the edge of Hyunjin's bed, placing her sinewy hand on his thigh. She leaned towards him and whispered, "You're my scrap now," and that smile became a smirk. "Goodbye, Dr. Seo." She strutted out of the room with her stained purse and tattered sweatpants equipped.

"She hasn't always been like this, has she?" Dr. Seo asked innocently, his eyes wide in concern. He must have seen through Mrs. Hwang's act too. All Hyunjin could do was shrug--the answer was no, she was much different a while ago, but her transformation had happened long before Hyunjin's coma. It was too late.


	3. overfriendly females

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin is overwhelmed

Changbin helped Dr. Seo pull on one of his green surgical gloves, breathing heavily in anticipation. He was about to witness his first operation as a hospital intern, though he hadn't mentally prepared for it.

"Doctor," Dr. Seo nodded towards Changbin to lighten up the mood. A couple of the nurses giggled as they pulled on their face masks and washed their hands; of course, Changbin's first question as an intern had been whether doctors really greet each other that way, and the answer was no.

"Is it okay for me to step away at any point?" Changbin whispered more seriously, swallowing hard as he fixed his own mask around his nose and mouth.

"For today, that'll be fine," Dr. Seo responded, avoiding physical contact since he finally had his gear on. "Just remember: if you want to be a distinguished surgeon like me, you have to be able to bear what you see no matter how disturbing it gets."

Changbin nodded shamefully as the team of nurses herded into the operating room. Two women were already standing in the room, helping the patient fall asleep. Changbin froze in the doorway as the patient, a seven-year-old boy, squirmed around anxiously, and he thought,  _Here goes._

\- 천천히 -

"You've always been a pain in the ass," Mrs. Hwang muttered. "Getting into Mommy's drinks, sneaking out past bedtime... that's how you ended up like this. Did you know that?"

Hyunjin shrugged in reply, but he was intrigued by something else. "Chris and Felix didn't have a bedtime."

"Yeah, well those little shits aren't real. Wake up already."

"For Hwang Hyunjin," a petite lady from the opposite side of the barren room called out, wearing a sweet smile with black floral scrubs. Hyunjin looked at his mother after acknowledging the woman, and she suddenly had a big grin on her sickly face. She put her arms around his shoulders like a brace and squeezed so he'd stand up easier, but he still had to try three times before actually standing on his feet since the witch clearly didn't want to help him. The cane was hardly strong or tall enough to support his weight anyway--perhaps it was fitted for him while he was still ten.

"Right this way," said the woman kindly, holding a clipboard against her chest as she led the way to a private training room. Hyunjin wished it was closer to the waiting room as it had taken him and his mother a tedious six minutes to get from the car to the building.

Friendly as could be, the woman chatted, "So I heard you were comatose for eight years! How does it feel? Any pain or discomfort?"

Hyunjin halted in the doorway while the woman flipped the lights on, hanging her clipboard up beside the switch. She turned towards him, expecting an answer, but all he did was look at his cane and glower. "Right, of course you're uncomfortable. Let's lose the cane for a bit, okay?"

"Fine." Hyunjin shook it out of his cramped hand and handed it soundly to his mother, who impolitely tested it out on herself. Hyunjin averted his attention to the clipboard lady. "Are you my trainor?"

"Actually, I'm a receptionist here, but I'm working on becoming one," she said. "Have you thought about your major at all? You know, since... yesterday?"  _She's bright._

"No."

"Ah. My name is Hana, by the way--I'm just here to get some information about you and warm you up since the hospital didn't have much on your record; your therapist will be here shortly. Come along, follow me over here," she said warmly, walking backwards until her back was against the mirrored wall. Hyunjin stood timidly by his mother, who was viewing herself in the mirror with the cane under her weight, and swallowed hard.

"It's okay. One foot at a time. Does it hurt?" He lifted his left thigh, unlocked his knee at a right angle, placed the foot down unusually harshly and too far in front of him.  _No, this isn't right._ "Try using smaller movements."

"It's hard," Hyunjin complained, embarrassed that he had to walk so much in front of a stranger. His mother judged him enough in the parking lot, so this wasn't exactly his cup of tea.

"Let me guess," Hana said, "it feels like walking under water, right?"

"I guess," he nodded, not very sure even though the analogy sounded accurate. Hana pushed herself off the wall and walked up to Hyunjin to guide him. She placed her palm flat on his back and took his arm around her shoulders. "Right now, we don't have any bars for you to lean on, but they were supposed to be installed last week. Sorry about that."

"It's fine."

"Why can't he use the cane then?" Mrs. Hwang interjected, using her innocent face. Today, Hyunjin noticed, her sweatpants were grey and clean.

"It's one of our methods here," Hana explained, using the mirrors to make eye contact with Mrs. Hwang without turning her head and disturbing Hyunjin. "If we learn to walk with the cane, it'll be harder without it, so it's a lot faster skipping right to the bars."

"Faster my ass," Hyunjin murmured, staring at the floor to make sure his feet were doing the same thing as Hana's. They were still advancing at snail speed, and Hyunjin couldn't tell how far he had gone.

"Please, mind your language."

"It's herfault," he nodded towards his mother, who luckily hadn't heard it.  _You're not ten years old anymore._ "Sorry."

Hana chuckled, "It's okay! Look where we are now!" They had made it to the wall. "How old are you, by the way?"

"Eighteen, I think."

"What's your favorite color?"

"I don't have one."

Mrs. Hwang suddenly giggled. "Oh, Hyunjin has always been a fan of black and white. How boring is that?"

"I'm a fan of white myself," Hana chuckled, taking Hyunjin's arm off of her. She appeared ready to say more when the door opened again, and in came a woman wearing exercise attire. She was focused on something that hadn't come through door just yet.

"Watch the wall," she called out. "All right, forward. Forward. Forward. There you go, you know the drill."

" _That's_  your physical therapist. She's helping move in the benches," Hana said. "Sorry we're so unprepared--this is my cue to leave though."

"It's fine." Hana skirted the room and avoided the bench-movers just so she could grab her clipboard and head back to the waiting room. Hyunjin leaned heavily against the mirror, his palms creating sweat stains on the cool glass behind him. Mrs. Hwang approached the therapist as the bench was placed and the movers left.

"Morning!" the therapist cheered, shaking Mrs. Hwang's hand. Her voice boomed; her whisper was probably Hyunjin's shout. "Nice to meet you, Hyunjin! I gotta say, you're my most intriguing client so far."

Hyunjin lifted his hand and waved, his knees buckling all of a sudden, and then he was on the floor. The therapist rushed ahead and lifted him, her biceps bulging as Mrs. Hwang observed helplessly from the corner of the vast room. Hyunjin appreciated this woman's efforts to assist him since they were so different from his mother's excuse for effort.

"You all right, Hyunjin?" she asked. "Your coma history is really showing through. I'm here to help with that. Come on, let's go stretch on this fancy new bench."

"Okay," Hyunjin mumbled. She was very poised.

"Lie down on your back, please," she told him, and he had trouble getting in the position. His back and shoulders popped loudly as she pulled Hyunjin's hands up over his head so his arms were extended as well. "I'm Seo Eunkyung, but you can just call me by my name. I believe my husband recommended me?"

"Dr. Seo," Hyunjin realized, earning a chuckle from Eunkyung. "Yeah, he did." Already, he was more talkative with her than with Hana.

"What's he up to? He's hardly home anymore."

"I don't know."

"Right." Eunkyung took Hyunjin's right leg and stuck it straight up in the air, forcing a groan out of the unfit teenager. "I hear they stretched, showered, and fed you at the hospital, but you're pretty tense."

"Duh," Hyunjin said. "Please, that hurts."

"I gotta do it," she shrugged. "Stretching helps, even though your muscles aren't warm right now. You'll feel looser." She switched legs and bent Hyunjin's knees for him a couple times, told him to roll his ankles. They cracked too.

"Jin, maybe I need to take you to a chiropractor," Mrs. Hwang suggested as she watched the stretch session. Hyunjin's back was arched against the hard, unnaturally flat bench top, and he creaked with every which move.

"Actually, I was about to say the same, just by the looks of it," said Eunkyung with a wrinkle in her brow, offering her hand to help Hyunjin sit up. His soft abs didn't do much for him, but thankfully Eunkyung was very muscular. "That your mother over there? She's a keeper."

"Eh."

"Hyunjin, be polite!" Mrs. Hwang scolded. He just looked Eunkyung in the eye with a dead expression, earning a fit of chuckles from the therapist. She didn't know how serious he was but perhaps that was a good thing.

The session continued but finished quickly. Hyunjin took note of Eunkyung's outgoing behavior and was grateful for it since he didn't feel like talking much, especially not about himself--he almost didn't want to be alone with his mother again, but it wasn't much of a worry considering she had become attached to his cane and would probably victimize it instead of Hyunjin himself.

"Where to, slowpoke?" Mrs. Hwang groaned once they finally reached her car. Being summertime, it was warm outside, but Hyunjin was sweating profusely. "Dr. Seo called and said it's your choice: home or the hospital?"

_What's the difference?_


	4. summer lovin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> had me a blast (happened so fast)

[click for a bop no one knows](https://youtu.be/Khs5Ak-PDDU)

It was evening. Hyunjin had picked the hospital; he was afraid to see how lowly his mother lived, so he had to soak up all the sweet hospital life he could get before Dr. Seo discharged him. Now, with visiting hours over and Mrs. Hwang overshooting her stay, Hyunjin had his eyes closed and his hands locked in a ball on his lap.

"Dipshit, are you listening to me?" she snapped her fingers directly in front of Hyunjin's face, then in his right ear. "Repeat everything I just said to you."

"'Dipshit, are you listening to me?'" Hyunjin mumbled, yawning. He cracked one eyelid open and peeked at the woman who was turning red, frustrated in her son. It felt good to swear at her.

"Treat me with respect!" she ordered. "As I was  _saying_ , when we get home, you're gonna follow that list I printed for you, and you're gonna do every chore on it. Got it?"

"I can't even walk."

Her eyes popped out of her head. "Young man, do I really have to go over this again? Why can't you listen to me for once? Never have, never damn will!"

From his bed, Hyunjin could see the door swinging ajar and staying in place, but the person who opened it was hidden behind Mrs. Hwang. Hyunjin was rather amused when his mother realized there was another person in the room, then stormed out with her flip flops slapping noisily on the vinyl floor. She mumbled something incoherently on her way out and left Hyunjin with a smirk, relieved that someone else had witnessed her second face.

"Hyunjin, are you stressing out your mother?" Dr. Seo asked, eyebrows arched in curiosity. It made Hyunjin's heart drop that Dr. Seo blamed him. "In your condition, it'd be best for you to lay low for a little while. Did you know you had three minor cases of pneumonia while you were under?"

"That's not even related!" Hyunjin cried, jumping to defense immediately. "She was yelling at me!"

"It's related because you showed signs of stress while in your coma," Dr. Seo said matter-of-factly, and he was going to say more before another figure burst into the room.

"Barge in," Hyunjin puffed in annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest. The boy in the room, short but mature, bowed apologetically at Hyunjin and Dr. Seo.

"Changbin, what are you doing here? I'm with a patient."

"I'm sorry," Changbin said, gazing through his straight bangs. "Dad, I think I left my phone at the nurse's station, but I can't get back in."

"All right, I'll go get it," Dr. Seo sighed, agitated. Changbin hung his head and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, bouncing awkwardly on his feet. "This is Hyunjin. Hyunjin, this is my son Changbin--he's interning here for a couple of months."

Hyunjin's eyes widened in surprise--this kid was an intern already? At eighteen years old? That was cool.

"So what're you here for?" Changbin asked the irked Hyunjin after his father had left. "Sorry, never mind. Uh, nice to meet you."

"You too." Hyunjin looked down at his nails, which needed trimming. They had been bothering him for a couple hours now, but he didn't know how to ask for help.

"My dad talks about you at dinner a lot," Changbin beamed, sitting down on the chair beside Hyunjin's bed.

"Isn't that a violation?"

"He never said your name or anything," Changbin shrugged. "But now that I'm in on everything, I'm allowed to know these kinds of things. Cool, right?"

"I guess," Hyunjin replied. He didn't want to lead the conversation in case he came off as immature next to this fellow teenager, who evidently had his life together and knew where he was going. What if something childish came out? Hyunjin looked at the floor on the side of the room Changbin wasn't sitting in, trying his hardest not to make eye contact.

In the midst of the silent moment, Changbin exclaimed, "Hey, was that your mom I passed in the hallway a minute ago? Wearing the sweatpants..."

"Model status, right?" Hyunjin scoffed, ashamed that Changbin had to see her.

Changbin contemplated, "I wonder why she dressed like that."

"Mirrors her personality." This alarmed Changbin.

"Really? Is she that bad?"

The younger boy turned back to Changbin and nodded his head in confirmation. None of his superiors were loose enough to let him talk badly about his mother, so having Changbin around--even for a couple minutes--was a pleasant outlet. "I haven't seen her in eight years and she already treats me like a speck of dirt."

"Damn," Changbin mumbled, shaking his head. "I would've never known."

"Who would?" Hyunjin asked. He and Changbin smiled at each other; this, perhaps, was the first time Hyunjin genuinely smiled since waking up. He sat up straight so his back was against the wall and painfully cracked his elbow in the process. His eyes screwed shut, Changbin stood up instantly.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," said Hyunjin, rubbing his elbow and reaching for the help wire. "That really hurt though."

Changbin put his hand out to stop Hyunjin from pressing the button. "Oh, the nurses don't like when you push the button for small things like this."

"I've only done it once."

"I meant anyone. You just cracked your elbow, didn't you?"

Hyunjin resigned accordingly, taking Changbin's advice. "You seem caught up. Do you know how long I'm allowed to stay here?"

"I'm guessing a couple more days," said Changbin, easily letting go of the previous matter. "Why do you ask?"

"You heard about my mother," Hyunjin sighed. "She's the only one who has come to visit me so far, so I don't really know if my dad is around anymore."

"Sorry, man." Changbin looked at Hyunjin sympathetically, glad his family had proven itself different than Hyunjin's. He didn't know if Hyunjin had siblings or friends, but given Dr. Seo's dinnertime stories, it appeared that the coma survivor was on his own. "If it makes you feel any better, I'll be working at the hospital for the rest of your stay."

"Will you come visit me?" Hyunjin asked, hope lightening his voice.

"Sure!"

\- 천천히 -

"Do you  _loooove_ him?" Eunkyung bantered with her son while she dropped aromatic ingredients into the soup she was concocting from scratch. He could tell she was joking, but it embarrassed him.

"Mom, please--that was just a phase," Changbin grumbled and scratched the back of his neck nervously. Tonight's topic of discussion was what Changbin did at work, and he made sure to hit all the points: watched and evaluated a lung surgery, helped food service deliver meals, and chatted with an ex-ICU patient.

"Felix certainly didn't think it was a phase," Dr. Seo teased, setting utensils down on the table in front of his son. He was glad to be home this early and had decided to help his wife with dinner; Changbin observed from the dining room, conversing with his happily married parents. (He couldn't shake the thought that Hyunjin's parents possibly weren't happily married.)

"Please! We were just on vacation--I didn't know what I was thinking," Changbin insisted. He buried his face in his palms while his parents snickered in the kitchen about his temporary infatuation with a boy named Felix Lee.

"All right, settle down," Eunkyung laughed. "Dinner is ready. Tell us about Hyunjin! I didn't get much out of him at physical therapy today."

"Please, I know as much about him as you guys do," Changbin answered.

Dr. Seo lifted his finger while the soup was poured, following Changbin's statement with, "And that's not much at all. We'll get to know him through you, I suppose."


	5. death, be not proud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> john donne

"Morning, Hyunjin," Eunkyung called out happily, sticking her head out the door of her training room so the Hwangs could see her from the lobby. She showed the rest of her body and rushed to help Hyunjin stand after noticing his mother was unreliable. "Are you ready?"

"Sure," he mumbled in reply, eyes trained on Eunkyung's sneakers as they navigated to the room. "Is your son Changbin?" He knew the answer was yes, but it didn't hurt to ask. Changbin definitely had her chin.

"He is!" Eunkyung grinned. "He was talking about you last night, actually."

"Hmm." By the looks of it, Eunkyung had wished Hyunjin would be more enthusiastic, but he couldn't help but expect this of Changbin since Dr. Seo talked about him, too.

Hyunjin's apathetic brown eyes scanned the room as soon as they reached the doorway; Eunkyung turned the lights on, revealing not only another new bench but also the balance bars that were supposed to be installed earlier.  _Finally._

"Shall we stretch?" Eunkyung suggested, gesturing at the bench Hyunjin used last session. He grimaced, remembering how much his back cracked when he lay flat on it. "It's okay, you'll be used to it soon enough. We're not doing anything intense this week." With that, Hyunjin inched forward and eased down on the bench, allowing Eunkyung to stretch his legs out as she did the day before; it felt good this time. He shut his eyes so he didn't have to see his mom judging him from the corner of the room, posing with his cane.

"Tell me about yourself," Eunkyung said, following the same routine as she did last session but adding some new exercises and stretches in here and there. "Have you been back to your house yet?"

"No," Hyunjin said, clenching his jaw when Eunkyung bent his ankle in what felt like the wrong way.

"Man, it feels your joints are locked," she joked. "It's like you're a cow."

"I'm skinny now," Hyunjin excused himself, opening his eyes again to look at the woman's facial expression. He didn't feel skinny, but he sure looked it.

"No, honey, of course you are--cows lock their knees when they nap so they can stay standing up," she clarified, going rose in the face. Hyunjin just nodded and sat up straight. "Are you ready to try the bars? They're just there for support."

"I guess." He stumbled over to the curved metal beams in the center of the room, bolted to the floor--hopefully they wouldn't break under him. One hand on either bar, he took a step forward, his knuckles turning white the harder he gripped. He could have been floating, for he put hardly any weight on his legs.

"Are you excited to go back?" Eunkyung wondered innocently. Hyunjin's head popped up--in the process, he noticed a pair of treadmills and a mini fridge in the corner of the room--and looked at his mother in the mirror, who was staring him down menacingly. He gulped wordlessly and put his head back down, refusing to say  _no_  aloud. "Do you miss your friends? Your dad, maybe?"

Hyunjin coughed out the words, "I don't think I have any friends, a-and I don't know about my dad."

"Hyunjin," Mrs. Hwang called, approaching her son and the physical therapist. She placed her hand on Hyunjin's back like a leech and applied pressure, probably thinking it was helping somehow, and looked the teen in the eye. "Tell Mrs. Eunkyung about your daddy, will you?"

"What about him?" Hyunjin wondered, swallowing hard as his mom pushed him forward.

"Poor thing," Mrs. Hwang muttered, tucking her greasy hair behind her ears. Eunkyung appeared concerned but stayed silent for the moment. "Poor thing kicked the bucket. You'd expect to remember that kind of thing, right, Hyunjin? It was your fault anyway."

"Mrs. Hwang, with all due respect," Eunkyung broke in suddenly, her natural triumph dialing down to empathy for Hyunjin. "Maybe this isn't the best time to discuss something so serious."

The boy was caught wordless, his head spinning and his fists opening up. Not only was he humiliated by the fact that his mother was referring to his late father as a "poor thing" and not Hyunjin himself, but she also blamed him for the death. How could he have known?

"Mom," Hyunjin whispered, his voice breaking. He had no idea he could be this sensitive anymore, but his childlike mannerisms were stronger than his grown-up ones, so he lost his grip on the bars. Tears fell as he fell down, banging his head on the right bar on his way down--Eunkyung shouted something, but it was quiet. Everything turned black; Hyunjin was afraid he had fallen back under, but he lay staring at the LED ceiling lights for what felt like minutes.

His dad was dead, and it was his fault.

\- 천천히 -

The LED lights turned into the familiar speckled ceiling squares that Hyunjin had woken up to two days prior. He was back in the hospital, fully awake this time.

"Dad, he's up again," said a voice from directly beside the bed. It was Changbin, who Hyunjin discovered was wiping some sort of cold liquid along the crook of his left arm. He tried taking his arm back from Changbin but wasn't nearly strong enough. "Hey, Hyunjin."

"Settle down," Dr. Seo said, appearing on the other side of the bed. "You passed out during PT today as a result of low blood sugar. You should rest until this IV drip is done."

"What IV--ah!" Hyunjin cried out, screwing his eyes shut as something pricked his left arm. It was worse than a vaccination. "Changbin!"

"Sorry," chuckled the doctor's son, "this is a glucose solution. You need it so you don't pass out again--hold still, please."

"Is everything all right?" Dr. Seo asked, squinting in Hyunjin's face because he detected tears in Hyunjin's eyes. Sadly, Hyunjin couldn't say anything in return, just clenched his fists and tried squirming away from Changbin. After hearing the concern in Dr. Seo's voice, Hyunjin remembered everything his mother told him in physical therapy and let out a sob. His dad was dead, and it was his fault.

"Hyunjin?" Changbin said, done bandaging up the IV. Hyunjin was covering his face with his right hand, evidently crying into it, and the Seo duo couldn't figure out why.

Mrs. Hwang burst into the room and materialized behind Dr. Seo, looking at Hyunjin with fake remorse glowing in her eyes. He hated to let these three people watch him weep, but the tears would not stop. He caused someone's death--and not just anyone, he caused his own  _father's_  death. It was all his fault. But how?

"What happened?" Mrs. Hwang asked, so Changbin and Dr. Seo made uninformed eye contact and shrugged at the twisted woman. Truthfully, Changbin had become nervous around her after hearing Hyunjin's opinions about her, but he would never say something rash like that to her face.

"He won't say."

"Hyunjin," Mrs. Hwang sighed, reaching out and touching his hand; he slapped it away instinctively. Of all people, Mrs. Hwang was the last person Hyunjin wanted there with him.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed. Changbin's insides melted--that was the most heartbreaking sound he had heard; it was worse than watching his father crack open a small child.

Dr. Seo reconciled himself by saying, "We're going to give you some privacy for now. Please rest up; we have a lot of talking to do, and not about things you want to hear."

He just nodded as the people in the room dissipated, but since Changbin was the last one to reach the door, Hyunjin called out the older boy's name.

"Yeah?"

"Stay."


	6. traumafication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he's like shakespeare the way he coins words

[click if u love kim mingyu](https://youtu.be/Fe71ctA-dTw)

Mrs. Hwang had one too many juiceless mimosas the morning of August 14 and she felt it all the way through her midmorning whiskey and white zinfandel at lunch time. She wasn't drunk, as she had become far too adjusted to large amounts of alcohol, however she did smell like it. She had trouble passing the receptionists due to her sleazy appearance.

"Why are you even here?" Hyunjin, grumpy as ever, asked upon Mrs. Hwang's arrival. His IV was out now and had left a long, brownish bruise on his arm; even the tape used to secure it left irritation on his skin.

"Because I'm your mother and I'm obligated," she spat, flopping down in the chair beside Hyunjin's bed. "I got nothing better to do."

"Amazing," Hyunjin said, rolling his eyes accordingly. "When Dr. Seo comes back, I want you to leave."

"And why is that?" she sneered. "Scared of Mommy still?"

Shamelessly, Hyunjin admitted, "No, I just don't like you." In fact, it was hard not to smile in the middle of his sentence; he liked getting revenge. Mrs. Hwang went red in the face, her alcoholic stink wafting through the room the longer she sat, and didn't say another word until the doctor finally arrived.

"Afternoon," Dr. Seo greeted charmingly. Mrs. Hwang was filing through her purse--probably just pretending to be busy so she didn't have to say hello. "How are you feeling? Any dizziness, nausea?"

"No," Hyunjin answered monotonously.

"Good, good. Mrs. Hwang, if you'll please excuse us for the time being, I'd like to talk to your son privately." Hyunjin's eyes flicked in the direction of his mother, and this time he let himself smirk.

"Sure thing, Doc." She trudged out of the place as if all her sins were chained to her ankles. Hyunjin was pretty certain the sea of people in the hallway parted when Mrs. Hwang left his room since her stench followed her wherever she went.

Dr. Seo put his clipboard down on the counter across the room and took residence on the chair Mrs. Hwang had just been sitting in. He crossed his legs and touched his hands together, letting out a sigh. "I'm afraid we have to talk about your accident."

"Great," Hyunjin muttered, purposely knocking his head on the wall behind him. "I was dead, you brought me back. So?"

"There's more to it, Hyunjin," Dr. Seo stressed. "Firstly, do you remember anything from April second?"

"April second," Hyunjin considered. "It rings a bell. I think I... oh, yeah." Hyunjin chuckled; he had gotten drunk that night. He was only ten back then, but it was for kicks.

"Hmm?"

"I drank some," he summed, coughing into his fist knowing this could cause legal problems. As soon as he said the words out loud, Hyunjin's face fell. He had downed a couple beers, his hands aching from the screw-on bottle cap, and wandered into the street. It was past midnight. His mother was up watching Hallmark movies with a bottle of whiskey, and that was how he had managed to sneak out. It was Felix's fault for leaving Hyunjin all alone. Presently, Hyunjin had a lump in his throat that he tried to hide by biting on his lip.

"Hyunjin," Dr. Seo urged. "You remember more, don't you?"

"Felix," Hyunjin whimpered, nearly crying but holding it in this time. "He left on my birthday."

"Felix?" the doctor asked. "Where did he go?"

"Australia," Hyunjin said. "He moved to Australia... damn that Felix." He looked at Dr. Seo's thoughtful expression and wondered what could have been going through his mind; clearly Dr. Seo knew more about the accident than Hyunjin did, so why did the mention of Felix pique his interest?

"So the cause was grief, huh?" Dr. Seo asked, and Hyunjin nodded in affirmation. "Do you remember the accident happening? This is really important, but I understand your brain shut out that memory to protect you from trauma. Try and think for me."

"No way!" Hyunjin scoffed. "If my brain doesn't want to be trauma-fied, then so be it."

"Traumatized, son," Dr. Seo corrected.

"Doesn't make a difference what word it is."

"Settle down, I wasn't done," Dr. Seo said calmly. "As I was saying, this is important. If you don't try and remember the accident on your own, there's a chance the memory could come back to you out of nowhere and possibly cause a seizure like you had on the night of the accident, and if that should happen, there definitely will be trauma involved. You could run the chance of falling into another coma."

"Another coma? Like, another eight-year coma?"

"There's no telling how long it could be, but probably shorter."

Hyunjin, in a bit of a panic, drew in a breath and shut his eyes, forcing things to come back to him: the time of morning it was, how torn he was about Felix, what movie his mother was watching in particular when he left the house. It came in pieces that Hyunjin had trouble disclosing to Dr. Seo but did anyway; his eyes teared up excessively and the tears themselves dripped like hell, but he wasn't contorted in the face or otherwise upset.

"You did well, Hyunjin," Dr. Seo said at the end of the confession session. "I know this is cheesy, but you learned your lesson, didn't you?"

"Don't break rules?"

"More or less--don't drink irresponsibly," Dr. Seo said, "especially not as a ten-year-old. What could have possessed you?"

"You don't understand," Hyunjin insisted bashfully, his already small voice reducing down to a whisper. The tears dribbled over his lips and down his sharp chin, but he didn't break eye contact with the doctor who he, as of late, had started to think of as a friend. "It was hard with my mom."

"Hard how?"

"She drinks," Hyunjin said, but that was a given--Dr. Seo could probably smell Mrs. Hwang's breakfast from outside the hospital. Hyunjin didn't want to pour his personal life--his old personal life, anyway--out onto Dr. Seo, so instead he cut himself off and said, "She's just that way, you know? And with no friends anymore..."

"How can you be so sure you don't have any friends?" Dr. Seo pushed.

Hyunjin wiped his eyes in one brief motion and folded his arms stubbornly across his chest: "For starters, Felix is in Australia."

"Felix?" Dr. Seo repeated. "Was his surname Lee?"

Hyunjin's mouth fell open. "Well yeah, but he's imaginary. How'd you guess?"

"My son had an Australian friend named Felix Lee when he was younger, so I thought they could be connected. You sure he's imaginary?"

"I don't know, it's been a while. My mom said he was."

"Maybe Mom was drinking when she said that." Dr. Seo winked at Hyunjin and rose off the chair, leaving Hyunjin confused but hopeful at the same time. So far, this was both the best and the worst thing to happen all day: one one hand, he wasn't insane. He really did have a reason to be upset; he wasn't irrational or stuck inside his ten-year-old mindset.

But on the other hand, Felix really did leave him. It was because of this that Hyunjin's mother thought he was a little over-imaginative as a kid and ridiculed him every time the name Felix came up. It was because of this that Hyunjin fell into a coma for nearly half his life.


	7. felix-ception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meta

There was a thunder and lightning storm throughout the entire night. Frankly, it didn't help calm Hyunjin's nerves about going back home, but his mother had insisted on it and Dr. Seo was in no place to turn her down because Hyunjin wasn't physically incapable of most things anymore. He could stay for the day but come evening, Hyunjin would be officially checked out. It bothered him, however, because today was a random Tuesday. Why was Mrs. Hwang available to take him home when she should have been working?

When his eyes opened, he was reminded of the first time he woke up: it was four days ago. He went to physical therapy two of those days and was alas granted a day off and a wheelchair (Dr. Seo noticed the awkward nature of Hyunjin VS. cane). Hyunjin stirred and yawned till he was sitting upright, pressing his back against the wall behind him for support. Breakfast would probably be here in an hour or two.

"Morning!" said someone. Hyunjin jumped to full alertness and scanned the room, starting from the left side; the voice came from behind the lavatory door on his right, promptly swinging open to reveal a happy Changbin who was washing his hands in the tiny metal sink. "Sorry for the scare. My dad told me to come and wait in here, said he had something to share."

"Yeah?" Hyunjin panted, still breathing hard from his startle. "What could he have to say that involves both of us?"

"I don't know," Changbin shrugged. He came up to Hyunjin's bedside after drying his hands with paper towels. "He's in the middle of a surgery right now, so I guess it'll be a while. How'd you sleep?"

"Fine," Hyunjin answered curtly. "Why are you an intern?"

Changbin looked surprised at the abrupt subject change. "Why? I mean, it was between this and music, and because of my parents, I thought I had a bigger shot at succeeding in med school."

"Music?"

"Yeah," Changbin blushed. "I mix different beats in my free time, and lately I've been adding raps."

"That's so cool!" Hyunjin beamed, instinctively bringing his hands together--it was like talking to a celebrity-to-be! Changbin laughed at the positive reaction. "I gotta brush my teeth. Will you help me?"

"Yeah, of course." Changbin put his arm around Hyunjin's back and let the younger boy lean on him while standing up. The bathroom was about two feet away and the sink closer to five, but it didn't take Hyunjin very long to finish the task since Changbin was here to help. He listened to some of Changbin's demos while brushing his teeth and wondered what other music he had missed.

"Honestly, you missed a lot," Changbin confessed, "but it's not like any of it's gone. If you look up some throwback playlists or highlights on YouTube, you'll get caught up."

"I'm sorry," Hyunjin said, "I can't remember what any of that means."

"Oh, don't worry! I just mean you'll figure everything out soon enough, and it'll be easy," he answered. His face suddenly changed: "Uh, do you mind if I ask you some things? I've never met anyone in a coma."

"I'm not anymore." Changbin shrugged apologetically at Hyunjin, who was clearly awake. "Sure, ask me anything."

"Did you dream?" The phrase came out so fast, Hyunjin wondered how long Changbin had been containing it.

Hyunjin smiled sweetly at the excited Changbin and nodded towards his bed again, where he would sit and stretch as he answered the innocent question. Changbin situated himself cross-legged on the foot end of the bed, and Hyunjin wondered if he could do that. It hurt but he did it.

"I had this really long dream--" Hyunjin said, watching Changbin laugh, "you can imagine how long--that took place in Sydney, Australia, and I was with my friend Felix the whole time." He had decided to leave out  _imaginary_  and believe in Dr. Seo, as the idea of Felix being legitimate was comforting.

"Wait, hold on," Changbin stopped him, shaking his head in what appeared to be confusion. "Was Felix's surname Lee?"

"Yeah, but why does everyone keep asking that?" Hyunjin wondered. He adjusted his position, causing a loud crack sound to spring out of his right kneecap.

"Did my dad ask you too?" asked the intern. "I know a Felix Lee from Australia! What a small world!"

"He said that too," Hyunjin said eagerly. "He was my best friend up until he moved."

"Aww, I'm sorry you had to split up. I saw him around two years ago in the summer, and I've missed him ever since."

"Will you tell me what he's like?"

Changbin was about to speak but was interrupted by a nurse who came into Hyunjin's room holding an envelope. She explained it was from Dr. Seo and he intended to give it to Hyunjin himself, but he was met with another emergency surgery and had to send it via Nurse Suan; she had no further information and left the room in a hurry. Hyunjin peeled the tab open and saw a small stack of photos inside it, and Changbin's face was visible on the first photograph but nothing else.

"I remember that envelope," Changbin grinned. "This must be what my dad wanted to talk to us about. Those are all my pictures with Felix."

"Felix?" Hyunjin asked frantically and scrambled to remove the pictures from the envelope. In the outermost one, Changbin was standing on the right side of a boy with sun-kissed brown hair and a face full of freckles. He looked different, but it was definitely him. One by one, Hyunjin handed all the photos to Changbin so they could both admire them, but his mouth fell open in awe and his heartbeat spiked the longer he reminisced over his long-time friend. He wasn't sure whether he would ever see Felix again, but this was satisfactory. Before he could stop himself, Hyunjin bent Changbin out of one of the photos and stared directly at Felix, who was posing on a street next to a skateboard with water bottles balanced on its gritty surface. He had matured so much over the years--he was skinnier than before, too.

"Everything okay?" Changbin asked softly after a solid minute had passed. "You can keep that picture if you want."

"Thanks," Hyunjin whispered, his eyes tracing every strand of Felix's hair that appeared in the photograph. He was in shock to say the least. "Did he ever mention a guy named Chris?"

"Chris Bang? They were inseparable while I was visiting," Changbin said, lovingly reflecting on the holiday. "For the most part, anyway--I kinda stole Felix from him."

More thunder cracked outside, and Hyunjin accidentally dropped the photograph into his lap. He remembered he would have to go home later today and frowned towards the water-stained window. "You're lucky," he noted in an undertone.


	8. memory lane

Hyunjin gulped as he neared the porch steps. The house itself wasn't intimidating but rather fascinating to the poor kid since he hadn't been out of the hospital in forever, but he didn't know how to go about entering. Was he supposed to act like a guest? And how would he get his wheelchair up the stairs?

"Meet me inside," Mrs. Hwang ordered as she chewed on some gummy candy from the hospital gift shop. She powered up the staircase past Hyunjin, who was helpless, weak, and angry, and she didn't bat an eye at her son.

"How?" Hyunjin asked, bending forward to tap her on the leg before she was too far up the cement stairs. She continued on, not even flinching. " _Hello?_ "

As he hadn't been on his feet in a good twelve hours, Hyunjin could do nothing but shout profanities up to the front door and wheel himself around the base of the driveway. There was a large split in the center that he got his wheelchair stuck in once, and he was sweating by the time he realized he should stop wearing himself out. It felt sweltering outside but Hyunjin knew it wasn't this hot to anyone else.

He jumped at a loud grumble that came from his right side: the big white garage door was suddenly opening. Mrs. Hwang could be seen from a second, normal-sized door along the wall of the garage's interior, her eyes wide and her face stern. Wiggling her finger to signal Hyunjin to enter the house this way, she warned him, "Shut up and trust the process." He wasn't sure either of them knew what "trust the process" meant.

"Took you long enough," Hyunjin muttered as he headed inside. The downstairs he went into was considerably cooler than the garage and had a wide open space as well as a couple doors.

"I said shut your mouth!" Mrs. Hwang scowled at her son, walking around his chair to face him. Her face was inches from his. "That's your bedroom. Stay in there and clean it before I come downstairs again. This ain't like the hospital, so you better be on time."

The spent woman stomped up the stairs and pulled a flask out of her waistband, spilling the amber fluid on the stairs as she swallowed unhealthy amounts of it. Hyunjin rolled to the room indicated as his and pushed the door open with his foot, soon face-to-face with a tiny hallway that lead further into his actual bedroom space. There was a closet door in the hallway and a light switch that didn't turn anything on, but not much else was there; he pushed into the room and came upon another, larger closet, a bed with camouflage covers, and a threadbare card table with an electronic device smothered under piles of trash. The whole room looked as though it had been frozen to preserve it, except the "frost" lining the furniture was actually dust.

"Not surprising," Hyunjin considered. He navigated through the chalky air of the room until he reached a window and pulled the blinds open, only to discover the windows were at ground-level. He felt buried alive.

Turning back around, Hyunjin's curious eyes wandered to his second and larger closet. Out of the multiple sliding doors, the one nearest to the windows was open by just a sliver, revealing what seemed to be an old bureau and knickknacks that only appealed to children on top of it. He approached with interest and pulled open the closet door, squinting in the dim void.

"Ten minutes!" his mother shouted from directly above him. This didn't phase him one bit.

"Ten minutes," Hyunjin copied in a high-pitched voice, yanking a drawer open in the process. There was nothing in it.

Drawer after drawer, Hyunjin only found old, tattered ten-year-old apparel and a Nintendo Game Boy that sputtered once and then refused to function. He tossed it back into the drawer with a pair of camouflage cargo shorts--he must have been truly obsessed with camouflage back in his day--and backed away from the closet in frustration. Was this really all that was left of his room? Some ancient furniture and a piece-of-garbage Game Boy?

Hyunjin trundled himself over to the desk with the laptop, sweeping the trash off the closed lid and prying it open. When it lit up to Hyunjin's surprise, there was an obvious crack through the middle of the screen but it didn't seem to interfere with the performance of the machine. He sat in astonishment as the computer granted him access, the pixelated cursor dragging slowly across the screen but giving more the longer he experimented with it. The camouflage desktop was dotted with icons: a Recycle Bin, a game of some sort, a blue program that Hyunjin barely recognized, and a file folder called "2004-2010." None of the words typed under the icons were readable, Hyunjin realized, just like the magazine he tried to read at the hospital, so he blindly clicked the file folder and awaited the result. The letters were too small and pixelated for him to comprehend.

A larage window popped up that told Hyunjin he must "Restart to Update Before Opening Applications," so he obliged and waited about two minutes. A pounding sound reverberated in Hyunjin's cave much too long before he realized it was his mother stomping down the stairs.

"This room is still a goddamn wasteland," she called before even entering. The unimpressed Hyunjin clumsily spun around in his wheelchair, lowering his eyelids at his mother's routine insults. When she finally came into his field of vision, she barked, "You heard me. Clean!"

"You clearly didn't do much around here while I was gone," he snapped, gesturing at the timeworn closet experience.

"Now that I have to live with someone, I want my house spick and span," she said, waving her almost-empty flask in front of her. She laughed, "This'll inspire you!" and poured the liquid ever so tauntingly onto Hyunjin's bedspread.

"I don't know how to do laundry," Hyunjin said, overall unaffected by Mrs. Hwang's cruelty.

"So? You'll manage. Get working--I have people coming over later." She wobbled out the room and clambered up the stairs again, as heard through the thin walls and ceiling, so Hyunjin slouched in his chair and pinched his nose. Whichever beverage she was drinking, it smelled Irish.

Hyunjin sighed, silently menacing at the heap of trash he removed from the top of his laptop. He had nowhere to put it besides the floor, so he stayed put as there was nothing he could do about it, at least until the laptop made a sound beside him. The update had finished, and the file folder opened accordingly: there were only eight pictures. When he explored, Hyunjin uncovered photos of his family: a scan of one photo that was evidently of his mom with some of her bygone friends, all dressed up in bright jackets with shoulder pads on some joyous occasion. She was pretty.  _Was_. But now she only slightly resembled the woman in the picture.

The next image captured someone who looked like Hyunjin himself, only he was a toddler in this world and was holding a man's hand as they posed against a coal-filled fireplace. The file was dated 2004-12-25.

He kept on scrolling through the limited number of photos and stared at the last one a little longer than he had the others: it was from 2010-03-19, the day before Felix moved to Australia. He and Hyunjin looked so happy in that picture, but he could only imagine how fake those toothy grins were.

Without warning, a notification from the blue app pulsed on the shelf at the bottom of his desktop, so he exed out of the file folder and clicked the animate icon. There was a line of messages typed in the weird symbols Hyunjin couldn't read, and at the bottom, he discerned one that said "Been a while. Call me." He didn't bother checking who sent the message or when before clicking on a telephone-shaped button and seeing his own face appear on the screen. It appeared he was dialing someone--the app was Skype. He had dreamed about Skype.

Someone answered, but it wasn't anyone he recognized. Her hair was slightly graying and frizzy, but her face still seemed adventurous. She squinted through her stylish eyeglasses and said something in a different language to Hyunjin, which he only barely understood as a greeting.

"Hey," he said, probably looking pale in the face as all his lights were out and the sun was setting. She said something else, but this time he couldn't understand it at all. "What?"

"You speak Korean," she gasped. "My apologies! I'm Felix's mom--I'll go get him." So much went over Hyunjin's head just then. How did this woman react so calmly?

"Felix?" Hyunjin said eagerly, drumming his fingers on the edge of the card table. He didn't expect the contact to belong to Felix's mother, but he was happy nonetheless. The woman left the screen for a moment and was replaced by Hyunjin's old friend.

"Hyunjin," he said, clearly awestruck. His face went bright red, and it was all Hyunjin could look at; his skin was tan and dotted with freckles still. "Oh my God."

"Hi," Hyunjin said quietly, swallowing hard.

"Do you remember any English?" Felix asked. So sudden.

"Not much. Why?"

"I'm a little shaky on my Korean." Felix took a pause and pushed himself slightly backwards from the table his mother's laptop was on. He, too, never expected to see Hyunjin's face again, especially not after waiting eight full years to talk to his ex-best-friend. All he wanted was a simple phone call, maybe even a text--he had even sent Hyunjin his right contact information.

Felix noticed Hyunjin's face and neck were a lot slimmer than when they were kids, and the eight-year radio silence led the Aussie to believe he could have lost Hyunjin to mental illness. Even so, Felix thought he could have brightened Hyunjin's mood if he was going through something.

"Why didn't you call?" Felix asked. Hyunjin's lips parted but no sound came out. "Eight years, man. Were you 'busy?'"

"Not exactly," Hyunjin excused, looking down at his keyboard. The letters were fading and the keys themselves were hard to press.

"Well then what?" Felix asked. Hyunjin feared he was getting angry, but it was something he was used to dealing with because of Mrs. Hwang, so his eyes rolled upwards toward the camera and sort of glared at Felix. "Just spit it out--I want to know why you couldn't have contacted me."

"I was in a coma," Hyunjin said.

"For eight years?" Felix snapped. Clearly he didn't buy it. Hyunjin stayed silent, breathing heavily through his teeth; if he had been given the choice, he wouldn't have left Felix, but Felix left him first so he had no choice. To be fair, Hyunjin  _was_ under the illusion that he spent those years in Sydney with Felix and Chris. The anger was uncalled for.

Hyunjin's childish sensitivity kicked in before he could do anything and his eyes welled up, so he shut the lid of his laptop and slammed his fist on the arm of his wheelchair. Felix's voice could still be heard: "Hyunjin? Did we lose connection?"

"Hang up." The tears were hot.


	9. the phone is ringing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's your daughter (ring ring)

_Brrrrrring! Brrrrrring! Brrrrrring!_

The landline howled from somewhere outside Hyunjin's bedroom, and since he hadn't yet probed the rest of the house, he decided to find the phone and answer it himself. It should be here somewhere...

Alas, at the end of the laundry room, which was more of a hallway with a door and a washing machine in it than an actual room, the phone secured to the wall was blaring away. Hyunjin had to stand up and walk to it because his wheelchair wouldn't get over the mounds of dirty clothes and beer cans that were blocking the way; it was a good stretch for him though. Hopefully the phone wouldn't stop ringing before he reached it.

Remembering what Hana said about moving his legs in small movements, Hyunjin slowly advanced to the phone while keeping his hand on the wall to stabilize himself. It stayed silent for a string of seconds before starting up again, so Hyunjin could only wonder whether the caller was persistent enough to have rung twice or if he was so unused to hearing the phone ring that there actually was normal spacing between trills.

He finally picked up the silent-again device and brought it to his ear. "Ma'am, I was just calling to hear back about your payments," said an unfamiliar voice. Hyunjin didn't say anything, knowing he was eavesdropping on something.

"I'll take care of it," Mrs. Hwang replied, sounding utterly annoyed. Hyunjin noticed she didn't care much about displaying her loving mother image in public anymore. "Will you stop calling already!"

"Sorry, ma'am, it was required," said the caller shyly. "Before I go, remember those payments are due at the end of the month. Have a good day."

She hung up, but Mrs. Hwang continued to mumble on her half of the line, so Hyunjin put the phone back in its cradle and began the journey back to his room. Mrs. Hwang came downstairs the second Hyunjin sat back down in his wheelchair which was still just outside the laundry room, and she eyed him suspiciously from the base of the stairs.

"What'd you just get into?" Mrs. Hwang asked, pointing her chubby finger at her son.

"I was answering the phone."

"And?"

"Which aren't you paying for: my physical therapy or my hospital bill?"

"Listen, you. Don't go telling people we're poor 'cause I got someone to cover the coma fee."

"Don't call it that," Hyunjin asserted, knowing very well that his excuse of a parent was upset about the financial situation. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Yeah, well why don't you go back in time and tell your ten-year-old self not to drink my booze and go suicidal on me!"

"I didn't!" Hyunjin screamed back, rising to his feet with perfect balance, his chest heaving. That one word she used-- _suicidal_ \--struck a nerve in him, and suddenly he saw his late father's face in his head. The face from the Christmas photo on his laptop--at first Hyunjin didn't recognize it as his father, but it was definitely him, and unfortunately that seemed to be the most recent picture Hyunjin had of him. "Don't talk to me about suicide. I'm not over it."

"Me neither, buddy," Mrs. Hwang said. "Get your things. P-T starts in a couple minutes." They were going to be late because Mrs. Hwang had prioritized belittling her son instead.

\- 천천히 -

"Very good! You're already getting better," said Eunkyung extraordinarily happily after Hyunjin walked with the balance bars without her guidance. The differences between Changbin's mom and Hyunjin's mom were startling yet soothing at times like this. "Maybe next time we'll try the treadmill. Now, I have to go and take my son home--I apologize again for the short notice. Class dismissed!"

"You mean Changbin?" Hyunjin wondered while Mrs. Hwang lazily pushed his wheelchair to him (she was supposed to let him walk to it himself). Eunkyung nodded her head at Hyunjin and opened the door for her client while he sat down in the chair.

"Yeah! He's right here if you wanna say hello," she offered kindly, gesturing at the hallway where a face and body materialized. Changbin. He must have been in the waiting room.

"Hey," he waved merrily. "Been a few days. How are you?"

"I'm fine," said Hyunjin. "What are you doing here?"

"My car is getting fixed so I had to catch a ride home with my mom," he said. "I'm not on a schedule or anything, but traffic will hit in an hour or so."

"Smart," Hyunjin noted. He cleared his throat briefly, lowering his face timidly but still maintaining eye contact: "I spoke to Felix last night."

"What! How?" Changbin gasped, coming forward and staring at Hyunjin expectantly. They both noticed Mrs. Hwang grab Eunkyung's arm and start blabbering about imaginary friends and their age limits.

"Skype," Hyunjin said. "It was an accident; it didn't go well anyway. Let's go out there." He and Changbin headed through the doors and toward the waiting room while their mothers spoke.

"What went wrong?" Changbin frowned, pushing Hyunjin's wheelchair in front of him until they reached the waiting room. "Is Felix okay?"

"He got mad at me," Hyunjin confessed. "It was like he thought I should've told him I was in a coma, you know, from  _my_  dimension _._ "

"Come on, it's not like you were dead," Changbin chuckled. "Still, there's no way you could've told him. If anything, it's your mom's fault." He whispered that last part and peeked over his shoulder to make sure Mrs. Hwang was out of earshot; Hyunjin was proud to hear the slander from someone else. Changbin sat down in a chair in the waiting room so that he was eye-level with Hyunjin.

"Can't argue there," Hyunjin laughed. His joy disintegrated fast though: "I told him to hang up on me."

"Why would you say that? Didn't you miss him at all?"

"Of course I missed him!" Hyunjin erupted, but somehow Changbin still didn't look offended by the change of tone. That was a good characteristic of his, as he was trying to befriend Hyunjin, whose anger management skills were massively underdeveloped. "But he had no right to get mad at me. I hardly even recognized him as  _my_  Felix anyway--he changed."

"No offense," Changbin said, placing his hands up defensively, "but he probably thought the same thing about you. I don't know what you looked like as a kid but it can't be the same, can it?"

"Even so--"

"Come on, Bin," Eunkyung interrupted unknowingly, beckoning Changbin to the glass entry doors. He stood up instantly. Neither of them had noticed Eunkyung and Mrs. Hwang approach.

"I'll give you my phone number before I go. Text me," Changbin said, pulling a pen out of his shirt pocket and signaling for Hyunjin's hand to write on. The latter obliged, thinking how embarrassing it would be to have to tell Changbin he couldn't "text" on the landline.

"That feels weird," Hyunjin complained as the older boy scribbled on his palm. "Do you want to talk to Felix after I call you?"

Changbin glanced up and smile; of course he wanted to talk to Felix, and judging from Hyunjin's anecdote, he would probably get to see Felix's face as well. "Why don't I just come over sometime? That'd make it a lot easier."

"Are you free right now?"

The boys managed to ride together in Eunkyung's vehicle to Hyunjin's house and escape Mrs. Hwang's hostility by simply tuning her out. Changbin didn't make a single off comment about Hyunjin's dark, dirty bedroom but instead complimented the "rustic look," then helped interpret all the Skype messages Hyunjin received in foreign symbols. They were Korean, just difficult to read after the screen cracked, after eight years of dreaming he spoke English. Hyunjin sat on his bed next to the card table while Changbin sat in his wheelchair and prepped himself to see Felix again. Their conversation lasted longer than expected, and Hyunjin dozed off for a few minutes after the two started talking in English.

He refused to say hello or show his face but his heart lurched when he overheard Felix asking about him.


	10. kryptonite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> are my chapter titles good

[click for a bop everyone found in their emo phase](https://youtu.be/tQ-EM6DbFQk)

Finally Changbin had a day off. He was exhausted from his past week at the hospital, especially when he had to watch a woman receive an epidural. Yesterday was a treat, however, after having gone to Hyunjin's lovely home and Skyping Felix for the first time. The only problem was Hyunjin falling asleep near the end of the call and Changbin having to sneak out of the room--luckily his host was a heavy sleeper, although that wasn't very surprising to him--without disturbing either of the Hwangs.

Changbin had been in such a rush to go home that he left his windbreaker on the edge of Hyunjin's mangy card table, so today he was going to have his mother drive him back and then take him home on her way to work (Dr. Seo had been busy meeting a new ICU patient first thing in the morning and hadn't been free since).

"How are things coming with Hyunjin?" Eunkyung asked during the car ride, tapping her thin fingers melodically against the fabric on the steering wheel. Her slick hair was captured in a ponytail at the nape of her neck, snaking around onto her shoulder. "Is his house nice inside?"

"He's great," Changbin said, avoiding the second question as to not insult the poorly managed home. "I think we're getting really close, actually."

"Is that so?" Eunkyung followed up. She turned her eyes to her son and asked in a harmless tone, "Do you like him?"

"No!" Changbin exclaimed, crossing his arms and staring out the window. "We already talked about this. That was a one-time thing."

Truth is, Changbin had been feeling giddy ever since he spoke to Felix again, so maybe it wasn't just a summer fling and it hadn't meant nothing to him after all--the last person he would admit this to was his mother, of course, but the thought was clawing at the wiring in his brain and trying to tell him something.

"That's their house," Changbin mumbled, pointing out the window so Eunkyung would park. She stopped her car in front of the declining driveway, which Changbin jogged down until he was at the top of the porch steps. He lifted his knuckle and was about to knock, but there was a loud, radiating pop sound from directly behind the front door. It only sounded once, but Changbin was afraid that something had clattered on the ground and broken, so he hesitated to knock in case it caused a distraction from the cleanup.

" _\--hit you again--do this for me_ ," Changbin thought he heard, immediately causing his heart to beat faster. It was undoubtedly Mrs. Hwang's voice, but was his hearing off or did it sound like a threat?

Changbin pressed his ear against the painted door, which luckily Eunkyung didn't notice, and listened intently to the conversation between Hyunjin and his mother. If they weren't standing on the foyer, Changbin wouldn't have heard it at all. Although, maybe, they probably wouldn't have heard his knock either.

"Why should I?" Hyunjin snapped, his cheek pulsing with pain after his mother's wiry hand smacked it. Changbin wasn't surprised to hear that Hyunjin was talking back. "You don't do anything for me."

"I do everything for you, you little shit! I don't have to feed you every night or take you to cripple therapy!" Mrs. Hwang yelled in return, piercing Changbin's heart through the door in the process. "Now tell me what I told you to do."

"Even if I would play along," Hyunjin said, his knuckles turning white the harder he leaned on the railing next to the stairs, "no one on Earth would be convinced these are from falling in the shower."

"Are you forgetting you just came out of a coma? They'll believe anything if they believe you died when you were ten!" Mrs. Hwang cackled, her brown eyes alive with savagery. "Whatever, Jin, I know you're gonna do it. You're afraid of me hurting your pretty face more."

"Don't call me Jin," Hyunjin flared. "I'm not afraid of you. You're a conceited bitch."

"Watch your mouth!" Mrs. Hwang shouted, throwing her fist against the bottom edge of her son's jaw. This would be the last time, though, because he fell backwards and thudded on the tile floor (which startled Changbin) while Mrs. Hwang stomped upstairs, probably in pursuit of her adult beverage stash.

Hyunjin and Changbin rubbed their jaws in unison, but for very different reasons: Hyunjin to sooth his pain, Changbin to try and think of what to do. The sweater he left had long since escaped his mind, but as soon as he thought he heard more movements from inside, he dashed down the stairs and back to his mother's car.

"What was that all about?" Eunkyung asked, hesitating to drive away but Changbin waved his hand to hurry her. "Whoa, what's the rush?"

"Can you take me to the hospital?" he asked, his anxious eyes trained on his thighs. "I have to talk to Dad. I'll work out a ride later on."

"Sure," said Eunkyung wearily, "is everything okay?"

"I don't know yet."

\- 천천히 -

All of eternity had passed in the duration of forty-five minutes while Changbin awaited his father's break. Dr. Seo was surprised to see his son there to say the least, but he could tell something was wrong by looking at the crease in Changbin's brow.

"What is it, Bin?" Dr. Seo asked, clapping his hands together and forming a determined countenance.

"Hyunjin," Changbin breathed out, practically hyperventilating. Dr. Seo nodded and gestured at a bench for the two to sit on before Changbin's concern developed. "You know how he always talks about how much he hates his mom?"

"Sure."

"I-I think she's abusive to him. I went over to get my jacket that I left in Hyunjin's room and I heard them having an argument and she threatened him and punched him square in the nose and--"

"Slow down," Dr. Seo said. "Were you a witness? Did you actually see any of this or did he tell you?"

"I was just assuming it was a punch in the nose because it sounded like he fell afterwards, but she definitely hit him. I was just listening through the door and didn't get involved."

"Good," Dr. Seo nodded, his brows drawn together. "Thanks for telling me. We can't do much about it now--maybe if you notice any bruises on Hyunjin, report them to me or your mother. Does she know yet?"

"No, I wanted to refer to you first since you've known him the longest," Changbin admitted.

"Okay. Text your mother and tell her to be on the lookout for bruises or even comments about Hyunjin's mom; she'll be seeing him more often from now on because of physical therapy."

Changbin rested his head against the wall behind their bench and sighed, sadly not sighing out all his worries. Soon enough, Dr. Seo left to fulfill more duties as an ICU doctor, and at this time Changbin began floating around the hospital for lack of a better pastime, hoping one of the new interns was in today. There weren't many "incidents" (as Changbin liked to call them) today that were as concerning as Hyunjin's living situation, which was ultimately a good thing, but now he couldn't shake the thought that Hyunjin was injured and he didn't offer help.


	11. burning the midnight oil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (idiom) to work late into the night.

[click for a bop i just found that only partially applies to this chapter](https://youtu.be/scS64l3wvew)

Like people need oxygen, Hyunjin needed an escape. His face was still black, blue, and red from the multiple times Mrs. Hwang clobbered him--the aging diamond ring on her finger cut into his skin and caused scabs to form overnight. He wasn't sure how or why she still had the faith to wear that thing anymore, much less to use it as a weapon.

That's why Hyunjin was wide awake at eleven o'clock at night the following day. Dealing with this type of pain was new to him, and he would never dare to reveal his sensitivity to his mother. Besides, there really was no better time to get upset than eleven PM in Hyunjin's severely unbiased opinion, when his mother was awake and drunker than ever, completely unable to register other people's emotions--she wouldn't remember a thing even if she managed to hear him from across the house.

One hand caressing his prominent cheekbones, Hyunjin scrambled around his pitch-black bedroom with shaky hands and no idea where he was going. If he remembered correctly, Mrs. Hwang had left a pair of multiple-year-old-crutches against his door for him, so he groped around the dark for them and slouched until he was at the right height to fit them. He had no particular mission other than to leave this hellhole for a while; thus he crept out of his bedroom and out the door that led to the garage. He swore he saw a backdoor in the garage when he first entered this way, and that would ultimately be a more stealthy means of egress than the garage door itself.

The crutches hurt, but Hyunjin powered on, using blind luck to make his way out the backdoor and around the house. It was chilly and humid outside, and still a couple of cars drove past, providing just enough light so that he wouldn't stray off the path. At this point, Hyunjin was so focused on reaching the sidewalk that he forgot how much his fresh bruises were hurting.

Each step was another motivation for him to keep going. They represented his mother's faults: left was her lack of independent abilities, right was her alcoholism that had apparently spread to Hyunjin as a child, left was Mrs. Hwang putting the blame for her husband's death on Hyunjin. Before he realized it, he was staggering a couple houses away from his own, and each of those steps was inspired by another reason to hate Mrs. Hwang. This brought a smile to Hyunjin's dry lips; the hatred really fueled his fire.

He paused for air at the corner of his block, leaning against an uneven stop sign. In front of him, the street was damp--perhaps it had rained without him noticing--and reflected lights from some streetlamps that could be seen some distance away. His eyes had been adjusted to the dark at least since he reached the sidewalk, but it hurt to squint through it anyway because of his bruised cheek. Hyunjin limped across the street without checking both ways and made it safely to the opposite block, at least until he twisted his ankle in a pothole and slammed down on the cement.

The old crutches snapped under his weight after he collapsed, breaking in two pieces each. He was too worn and achy to attempt to stand up on his own, so he lay still for what felt like seconds before suddenly it was daytime again: he had fallen asleep.

The sky was a grey canvas with hints of peach and lilac, not reaching full bloom as a blue flower yet. Hyunjin's ankle was throbbing; in fact, it was what woke him up. He would guess it was no later than six-thirty. He sat up with all his might, moved the trashed crutches out of his way, and jumped at the sound of a car approaching from behind him.

"Are you okay?" a woman's voice asked the same time the car stopped. Hyunjin turned his head and saw the voice's owner crouching about a foot behind him, wearing pink nurse scrubs and somehow making dark eye circles look friendly. She had a frown on her face and touched her hand to Hyunjin's left shoulder. "I was on my way home from work when I saw you laying here. Are you hurt?" His ears were ringing, so she sounded quiet.

"My ankle," Hyunjin murmured, rubbing his eyes tiredly and nearly falling backwards again, putting pressure on the nurse's hand. She stood up straight and helped the boy up as well, noticing his stance was uncomfortable.

"What's your address? I'll take you back home and tell you how to treat that," she said, nodding at the swollen joint and also at his discolored face. Hyunjin stood his ground, smart not to trust her at first but then acknowledging her legitimate hospital-brand name badge. He yawned out his address to the lady, only to be more confused by the look that fell over her face once he finished talking.

"What?"

"Are you Hwang Hyunjin?" she wondered, bringing her hands to her mouth in shock. He blushed--did the whole world know he was a coma survivor? "I thought you were dead! I haven't seen you or your mother in years!"

"I don't blame you," Hyunjin mumbled. He correctly assumed she was his neighbor.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. Let's go."

The woman drove Hyunjin to his home, telling him her name and that he should put ice on everything. He wasn't sure if there was enough ice in the world to numb all his pains but he nodded and thanked the woman, frankly terrified to go back inside.  _The nightmare begins again._

Mrs. Hwang opened the front door when the nurse drove off, leaving Hyunjin a shaky mess but he put on his war face and didn't appear afraid when Mrs. Hwang stomped up to confront him.

"Where the hell were you!" she blasted, using the palm of her hand to slap his injured cheek, the sting a billion times worse than it should have been. Hyunjin just shut his eyes to keep his reaction to himself. "You and I are going to the ER. You got jumped, you hear me?"

"I didn't get jumped," Hyunjin defied, but Mrs. Hwang returned to the base of the driveway adamantly and opened the garage door so she could get in the car.

She yelled back, "I said you got jumped, you weak-ass! Get in!"

The drive to the hospital was filled with silence on Hyunjin's end and neverending insults on his mother's end, though he wasn't affected. He let her take him to the emergency room, but the only thing they could do was prescribe painkillers and issue him a new set of crutches; Hyunjin went home that day feeling defeated physically and psychologically. He didn't even get to see Changbin or Dr. Seo while he was there.

_Congratulations, Mom. You win._


	12. superstition ain't the way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we're told not to assume things or jump to conclusions but sometimes it's necessary, y'know?

[click for a bop that'll change ur mood](https://youtu.be/qBySl8bjL9s)

Dr. Seo, despite being such a busy man, found himself preoccupied while working with his new ICU patients and operating on some of them. This started only recently after his son told him about the possibility of Hyunjin being abused at home. He didn't expect it to bother him this long, but that being said, none of Dr. Seo's long-term patients were quite as long-term as Hwang Hyunjin, and none of his patients at all were friends with Changbin.

On his break, Dr. Seo decided to give Mrs. Hwang a phone call to check up on Hyunjin and see whether the physical therapy sessions are helping at all. He dialed with the secret intent to detect any disturbing background noises in the other line, cries for help, and the like. What if Hyunjin really was in danger? Could this phone call save the poor kid's life? It only made his fingers click the number keys faster on a telephone in the doctors' station.

While he waited for an answer, Changbin popped his head into the room, so Dr. Seo held his finger to his lips so he would stay silent. The younger man plucked his cellphone out of his back pocket and waved it in front of Dr. Seo to imply he had sent a text.

"Yes?" said the cranky Mrs. Hwang suddenly, so Dr. Seo felt it right to stand up straight. Not that she could see him, but she was obviously not in the mood to talk.

"Hello, Mrs. Hwang," Dr. Seo said. Changbin was about to leave the station but perked up at the mention of his friend's surname. "It's Dr. Seo calling from the hospital--I'm just checking up on Hyunjin."

"He's fine," Mrs. Hwang said curtly.

Dr. Seo wouldn't know, but she was in the bathroom wiping blood off her hand from when she struck Hyunjin's scabbed up face and reopened his wounds last time she was downstairs.

"Mmm," Dr. Seo hummed to himself, "and how's Physical Therapy coming along? Has Hyunjin showed any progress?"

"Yeah, crutches." Mrs. Hwang was eager to hang up on the doctor, but because she knew her son was listening intently through the landline, she had to carry out the conversation as much as she could.

"Crutches?" Dr. Seo asked, suddenly remembering seeing Hyunjin made an Emergency Room visit the previous morning. "Ah. Would you mind reviewing why Hyunjin was in the ER yesterday?" Again, Changbin made a face, practically jumping up and down out of curiosity.

"He got mugged so I took him in and they got him some new crutches," Mrs. Hwang summed up, her voice sounding both flat from boredom and uptight from anxiety.

"Mugged? In a neighborhood like yours?" Dr. Seo asked, concerned about his own son's safety now. Through Hyunjin's patient files, Dr. Seo knew the Hwangs didn't live too far from his own home. "That's a shame. I hope it doesn't interfere with his recovery."

"Me too."

"Was Changbin any trouble the last time he was there?" Dr. Seo added, hoping to strike conversation with her since it was hard getting answers out of her.

"No, not at all," Mrs. Hwang said. Her voice sounded different--as if she made it sweeter on purpose. "Hyunjin seems to like him."

"That's great! I was just asking--"

She suddenly interrupted him with "I gotta go now, I'm cooking."

"Then happy cooking!" Dr. Seo said with a false sense of joy, and he replaced the phone on the cradle in resignation. His shiny face was flushed due to frustration. Turning to Changbin, he said, "Absolutely nothing. Hyunjin's mother seems normal."

"So you called to see about the abuse thing?" Changbin asked, touching his heart with his hand and fashioning a smile. "That's so warm of you, Doctor."

"Get back to work," Dr. Seo said.

"Wait, tell me what she said!" Changbin begged. "Also, I texted you about taking tomorrow off."

"Okay," Dr. Seo sighed. He lowered his voice, knowing their discussion was too personal for the other doctors to eavesdrop on: "I don't know for sure, but she definitely wanted to hang up to the point that she cut me off, and I thought I heard some breathing noises or something."

"Hyunjin was probably listening then," Changbin said. "And you said he was mugged?"

"Her words, not mine."

"I wonder what he was doing out of the house. He doesn't have any friends except, well, me."

Dr. Seo raised his brows at Changbin's last statement, considering it could have been a lie on Mrs. Hwang's part. He badly didn't want to believe Mrs. Hwang was the enemy though.

\- 천천히 -

Changbin didn't want to say anything, but Hyunjin looked like he had just been run over by an eighteen-wheeler when he came to the front door. The poor boy's right cheek was bright red and his left ranged everywhere from purple to green to brown to pink from all the bruises and cuts that were dirty and exposed. Changbin didn't let his smile disappear though because he was happy to see Hyunjin again.

"Hey," Hyunjin said, keeping a straight face despite the immense relief of seeing his friend. He couldn't bring it upon himself to smile in case it hurt too bad. "Come inside."

Changbin obliged and started downstairs, knowing he probably wasn't allowed to see the rest of Hyunjin's home just yet. "I heard about what happened the other night. Are you okay?"

"Word spreads quickly, huh?" Hyunjin asked, following closely behind Changbin on the steps and keeping his hand on the older boy's shoulder for balance. "I'm okay, but you can see how bad it hurts."

"I'm sorry," Changbin said sadly. He went in to the bedroom and tried the light switch, remembering too late that they didn't work. "Those cuts look a little dirty. Can I clean them up for you?"

"With what?"

"I have a first-aid kid in my car," Changbin said. "You know, hospital intern?" Hyunjin just nodded and sat down on his wheelchair, waiting for Changbin to leave and come back with a first-aid kit in his hands. The wait wasn't long at all, which made Hyunjin think Changbin ran to his car and back. He was certainly thankful Changbin was so caring.

"Is this gonna hurt?" Hyunjin asked when Changbin started pulling cotton balls and a spray bottle out of the plastic box.

"It might sting a little, but only for a second," Changbin promised. "You can shut your eyes if you want to."

"I don't want to."

"Fair enough." Hyunjin ended up squeezing his eyes shut anyway once the soapy solution came in contact with all his unclean scrapes--the excess of the clear liquid dripped down his face like a tear, and suddenly the pain went away. Changbin applied some kind of ointment--which didn't hurt at all, for the record--while minding Hyunjin's severely bruised face and not pressing too hard.

"That was just a soap and water mixture," Changbin explained. "I don't have any hydrogen peroxide on me, and that stuff hurts more anyway. I'm putting on some butterfly bandages now."

"Butterfly? I'm not a kid anymore," Hyunjin whined. He didn't want to look even more ridiculous in case his mother would use it against him.

"Don't worry, they're plain white," Changbin laughed, placing one on the tip of his finger so Hyunjin would understand. "That reminds me of a movie I saw when I was a kid."

"Which one?"

"It's called  _Paul Blart: Mall Cop_ ," Changbin said. "Did you see that one?"

"I can't remember."

"Why don't we watch it then?" Changbin's eyes lit up.


	13. thus the dam bursts open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's a metaphor

There was still a smudge of ink on Hyunjin's hand from when Changbin gave him his phone number. The digits were no longer legible after having washed his hands but since Hyunjin was entrapped in his boring bedroom most of the time, he had typed the phone number into his laptop multiple times and memorized it.

Using his crutches, Hyunjin lurched his way to the laundry room so he could use the landline. There was one thing he specifically wanted to say to Changbin, so hopefully he wasn't busy at work right now--but Hyunjin would tell him no matter the circumstances, whether it be that day, the next day, or a year later. He dialed his only friend's phone number without thinking much about it, instead taking deep breaths to prepare himself to ramble.

"Hello?" said the voice on the other line.

"Changbin, it's me," Hyunjin said. He swallowed hard, and in doing so, he noticed his face hurt a lot less.

"Hyunjin?" Changbin repeated. "Oh, I forgot you can't text. What's up?"

"Uh," Hyunjin started, clearing his throat, "thanks for coming over last night. It was fun."

"Of course! Did you like the movie?" Changbin's smile was almost audible.

"Yeah," Hyunjin said, smiling too.

A moment passed between them where no one said a thing. Changbin's smile faded when he realized Hyunjin probably called for a reason other than to thank him, so he said, "Hyunjin?"

"My dad's dead," the younger boy blurted out, leaning against the wall so he could speak in a less restrained manner. He shut his eyes, hoping not to cry.

"Yeah, I-I know."

"Just listen," Hyunjin insisted. "I know it's in my files, but I'm not done."

"I'm sorry. You were saying?"

"My mom said it's my fault." Hyunjin's voice cracked there, but the tears had yet to fall. He slid down so he was sitting and listened for any sounds through the other line, but all he heard was white noise and urgent footsteps. He continued, "I don't know when or how he died, but I really miss him. I have this picture of him on my laptop..."

"What's in the picture?" Changbin asked softly. He was at a restaurant, sinking into the cold plastic seat while he waited for his fast food to finish up, and since it was still early, there weren't many people there with him. He stayed quiet after asking his innocent question, trying his hardest not to get too emotional in public.

"It's me and my dad from the year 2004," Hyunjin murmured. "It was Christmas Day and I was holding his hand. There was a fireplace behind us."

"That's really sweet," Changbin noted as his order number was called; he approached the counter and grabbed his tray of food, hoping to slump down in his claimed booth and listen intently to Hyunjin's story.

"Yeah," Hyunjin said. "I don't know if there's a fireplace in my house though. I would really like to stand by there again, you know?"

"Yeah."

"And what if he was still alive?" Hyunjin asked, sounding final but continuing to rant through the phone: "I don't know what I did to him or when, but do you think he would've killed himself no matter what just because I'm here?"

"No," Changbin insisted, bringing his hand to his eyes out of stress. "Don't talk like that. You don't know what was going through his head."

"But my mom said it was because of me," Hyunjin persisted, becoming desperate. "Maybe I was an accident and he was too poor to raise me. Mom said she's getting someone else to pay for my hospital bill, so it makes sense."

"Hyunjin!"

"I'm sorry," Hyunjin said. "I got carried away. But I think about this kind of thing every day, and you're the only person I trust enough to say it to. Is that okay?"

Changbin mustered a smile and stuck a French fry in his mouth. "Yeah, it's okay." It was painful listening to Hyunjin minimize himself like so, but he was glad to have won Hyunjin's trust. Maybe he could help him get through it.

"I'm so guilty," Hyunjin admitted in a quieter voice. "I feel like she won."

"Who? Your mom?"

"Who else?" he said bitterly. "She makes me so mad and I think that's her goal. Maybe it was a lie, what she said about my dad, but it worked too damn well."

"I understand," Changbin replied. "Of course you're guilty, but for what? Do you even have any memories of your dad?"

"Well there's that photo I was telling you about," Hyunjin said.

"But you don't remember Christmas oh-four, do you?" Changbin pestered. Hyunjin wondered what he was trying to say.

"I don't know what your point is, but this is mine: wouldn't you feel like the scum of the earth if you were the driver that sent me into a coma?" Hyunjin said, sounding tough but rather feeling like it was his duty to deny Changbin's helpful statements. "He could've killed me--fact, he did. I was dead for a little but some of your work buddies brought me back. If they didn't, who knows if my dad would've died? Don't you think it's possible that he was so upset that I was stuck in some dimension he couldn't reach me in that either of us being dead would have been the better option?"

"I get what you're saying, but no matter what, you can't help your dad's mental state--it wasn't you that got to him, it was himself. It's okay to feel guilty, but you didn't do anything. That's not the kind of person you strike me as."

"But how do you know for sure?"

"Because if your dad really did die for you, he would have endured the eight years and been here today," Changbin finalized. Hyunjin was quiet for a moment because this was right--under the condition that Hyunjin's dad hadn't killed himself in order to escape Hyunjin, though if that were true, Mrs. Hwang would've been dead long ago.

"Thanks, Changbin," Hyunjin whispered. He wiped his eyes and stood up, taking steady breaths so he wouldn't start to cry.

"Any time," Changbin said gently. "I hope you know you can talk to me about anything you ever need to."

"I do," Hyunjin answered. "You're my best friend." It just came out.

"Would you believe me if I said you were mine too?" Changbin chuckled. He took a sip of his tea as Hyunjin laughed through the line.

"Well, no," Hyunjin confessed. "Wanna come over later?"

"Yeah, sure." Changbin hung up and finished his meal soundly as more lunchtime customers poured into the joint; he was sad to see Hyunjin's broken side but proud that he helped him deal with it.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, felt oddly exposed. Although it wasn't bothersome at all, it was new for him to have someone to whom he could vent about his hardships. Inside, he was really happy, lightweight. Felt like a boulder had finally rolled off his back.


	14. you sit on a throne of lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin wouldn't get this reference

Hyunjin woke up to the sound of his mother's menacing footsteps on the stairs outside his room, though he was surprised to find out she was returning upstairs and not coming downstairs to pour alcohol on his sheets again. While the stomping died down, Hyunjin sat up straight so he could wake himself up fully and stretched out his arms. He didn't like having to brush his teeth first thing in the morning--it was such a hassle. Who did it for him in the hospital?

As today was a Wednesday, Hyunjin had a Physical Therapy appointment to attend later in the day and was motivated to see Eunkyung there; her friendly aura was a much-needed distraction from Mrs. Hwang's constant cross behavior. He might even catch a glimpse of Hana, the therapist in training, who he also liked much more than he did his mother.

Hyunjin brushed his teeth slowly and changed into the clothes he wore yesterday. Since he hadn't quite gotten the hang of the washing machine yet, most of his clothes were several days dirty and warm from the dryer. Mrs. Hwang threw some fresh pairs of jeans and sweatpants at him one day during the week, but none of his shirts had the luxury of fitting him nicely.

When he returned to his bedroom, Hyunjin remembered Changbin had left a jacket on his desk a few days ago and didn't bring it home yesterday. He made his way to the landline and held it between his cheek and shoulder, extending his fingers to dial but pausing when he heard someone speaking through the line. Suddenly his plans to call Changbin vanished, and there he stood, listening to something utterly concerning.

"--due on the thirty-first! Are you hearing me?" It was Mrs. Hwang, and her voice was sort of quiet as if she were trying to hide something from the only other person in the house. How ironic.

"I know, I know," said a raspy, disgruntled voice from the other line. Hyunjin's brows furrowed, and he pressed his free hand over his mouth to muffle his breathing. "It's on its way to me right now. Chill out, would you?"

"Chill out! I can hardly even afford this phone call and you're over there on your recliner, wasting my minutes! Just get me the money!" Mrs. Hwang said.

"Why're you whispering, babe?"

"Don't you dare call me that," she spat. She seemed looser when she said, "Hyunjin doesn't know a thing yet."

"I see," said the man, and in Hyunjin's ears, he sounded petty for some reason. He came back at Mrs. Hwang with, "So while I'm killing time in my perfectly good home while the check in the mail takes its damn time to get to my house, you haven't said a single word to my son about who he should be thanking instead of you for keeping his life in tact? Is that what you're telling me?"

_My son._

"The only man Hyunjin should think of as a father," Mrs. Hwang hissed, "is dead. I think I have the right to be pissed at my ex husband and keep him away from my son."

"You say that like you love your son!" the man--Mr. Hwang, apparently--hollered. Hyunjin's legs felt weak, the way they did the first time he stood up after his coma. Lightheaded too, Hyunjin sat down with the phone attached to him, listening with shock. The man's voice softened: "I could transfer out of Tokyo and raise money for you two in person, you know."

"Not while I have full custody," Mrs. Hwang offered, "and I don't plan on sharing."

"See, you're not even willing," the man complained. "I haven't been home since 2004. I miss my son, Mijoo."

"I miss my husband," Mrs. Hwang answered. Hyunjin could envision her eyes turning stone grey and glossing over with numbness.

There was a long pause there until the man gave up and burst out, "Then visit his grave, you stingy bitch!" Hyunjin felt his cheeks become wet as his mother and father hung up on each other. The landline dangled in his limp hand while he tried to process what he just heard. Appalled to say the least, he started shaking to the point that he couldn't even stand up to place the phone back into its dock, and he stayed sitting in the corner of the laundry room until he nodded off into a forced slumber.

\- 천천히 -

The sun was out, but Hyunjin still couldn't figure out how long he had been napping when he finally woke up. The phone was swinging back and forth against the wall as if the wire was a spiraled bungee cord, so he grabbed hold of it and sat up straight, swallowing hard. His face was still damp from crying. It couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes ago that his latest stigma had just been retracted.

To Hyunjin's delight, however, Mrs. Hwang had not yet come downstairs and discovered that her son's real father had just been exposed. If she did somehow find out that he knew, there were endless beatings in sight and that was the opposite of what Hyunjin needed. In fact, he needed an outlet.

He extended his arm so it was level with the keypad on the base of the phone and typed Changbin's number messily, hoping he wouldn't have to stand up yet. He was anxious to get the message over and done with after hearing what Mrs. Hwang said about not being able to afford a simple phone call, though she could have been talking out of fear. There was a long couple of rings, but Changbin did pick up soon enough.

"Hyunjin?" he answered. "Sorry, I haven't set up your Caller ID just yet."

"Hey," Hyunjin said. As soon as he spoke, recycled tears created tributaries down the length of his face, and he could feel his voice give out but was too determined to express himself to hang up.

"Are you okay?" Changbin asked. He probably heard Hyunjin's silent weeping.

"My dad's not dead," Hyunjin updated. "It was my step dad or something. My real dad is in Tokyo and he has no custody."

"Wow," Changbin mumbled, taken aback. "How do you know?"

"My mom was just talking to my real dad on the phone," Hyunjin managed to say. He took short audible breaths before speaking again: "I think he's helping pay for my hospital bill."

"That must be so much to take in," Changbin observed. "Well, how do you feel?"

"I don't know yet."

Something about Hyunjin's tone of voice informed Changbin that he was not happy about his biological father being alive, whether it be because his father was deliberately hidden from him, his dad seemingly left the family, or he managed to become more confused after learning more about his aberrant family.


	15. folsom prison blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah i stole the title from supernatural. whatcha gonna do about it huh
> 
> p.s. y'ain't ready

[click for a bop that i GUESS is fitting](https://youtu.be/s_NLlOiD1Wo)

With special instructions to come inside quietly, Changbin crept his way downstairs and tapped politely on Hyunjin's bedroom door since he wasn't supposed to knock on the front door or call Hyunjin on the phone. Previously, Hyunjin disclosed that his mother was drunk again and--off the record--this procedure was to protect Changbin.

Hyunjin hobbled to the door using his crutches and let Changbin in, both boys wearing a closed-mouth smile despite the hood of shock that had seemingly fallen over both of them the day before. "Good morning," said Hyunjin quietly. He hadn't said that in years so his face turned bright red.

"Morning!" Changbin said. It was obvious he was trying not to be negative. "How are things around here?"

"Could be better," Hyunjin admitted, proving his efforts in optimism were slacking. He maneuvered himself around his bed and sat down in the wheelchair that he kept as a desk chair now for convenience, even though a newly discovered folding chair was hiding under the table. "I wanted to ask you something, if you don't mind."

"Go ahead, I'm all ears," Changbin said, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Hyunjin. He rubbed his hands together and awaited Hyunjin's question.

"Do you think it'd be hard to try and contact my dad?"

Changbin's hands froze in position. He sat quietly for a moment before looking down at his lap so he didn't have to see Hyunjin's reaction to his controversial opinion: "Honestly, you might be better off not digging into it."

"What makes you say that?" Hyunjin asked. He looked hurt, but Changbin wouldn't know.

"Well, who knows? Maybe you heard him wrong on the phone and it wasn't your biological father. Or maybe, since you were so upset that your other dad died, seeing your real dad would stir something up in you that you can't handle. And your mom doesn't seem to want you to know him, or else why would he live in Tokyo?" Changbin was trying not to sound offensive. He squeezed his eyes shut as he waited for the younger boy's response.

"That's true," Hyunjin mumbled, shaking his head even though he knew Changbin was being reasonable. "It just pisses me off. I don't even have one parent that can play her role, but knowing I had three at one point and they're all gone now is so hard, you know? Why did this happen to me?"

"It's not your fault."

"I didn't say it was!"

Changbin looked up after Hyunjin snapped, his eyes wide in surprise. "I know you're riled up, but please calm down. Listen to me."

"What?"

"I think it might be more important for your mental health if you patched things up with Felix first," said Changbin, gesturing at the closed laptop on his right, Hyunjin's left. "You'll have someone to talk to when I'm not available, and it'll be one less burden in your hand."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hyunjin asked. "I swear, sometimes you just come over so you can talk to your precious Felix."

"Hyunjin," Changbin said, a bit louder this time, "what the hell are you talking about? Every time I talk to you, it's a bigger bombshell in my face than the last time, yet I still show up. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

Hyunjin just leaned backwards in his chair and shook his head at himself, his chest heaving up and down from the tension of expressing feelings. Deep down, he knew Changbin had good intentions, but it was like second nature to throw blame on other people; his messed up life was Mrs. Hwang's doing, and suddenly he was accusing Changbin of using him to talk to Felix. Perhaps it was because Hyunjin was so emotionally worn from the constant stress of living with his worst enemy, but either way, Hyunjin acknowledged that he was being unfair and was about to speak again before his ears perked at a noise.

Finally he registered it as the sound of Mrs. Hwang's footsteps at the top of the stairs. Hyunjin shot out of his wheelchair faster than he could process, and Changbin rose too; reaching with what felt like his last iota of strength, Hyunjin pushed Changbin's chest backwards and fell face-down on the floor in his haste, causing a loud thud and a confused Changbin. Truth is, Mrs. Hwang didn't know Changbin was here and Hyunjin didn't want her to do anything to his friend (especially while under the influence) that could potentially drive him away from ever seeing Hyunjin again.

"What are you doing?" Changbin asked, crouching to help Hyunjin stand up. He took Changbin's warm hand and scrambled to his feet, eyes wide and urgent.

"Go," Hyunjin whispered, pointing at the opened closet door with his other hand. "Go! Hurry up and hide!" Changbin shook his head and obliged, utterly puzzled. He slid his body between a couple of dressers and leaned his elbows on either of them, rolling his eyes to himself as he waited to see what Hyunjin was so afraid of. He was scared for a moment that Hyunjin shoved him out of sheer anger, but now he had reason to believe that was not the case. He closed the closet door right before hearing a woman's voice.

"What the hell's all that ruckus?" shouted Mrs. Hwang as she appeared at the end of Hyunjin's little hallway. Now that he was leaning on his crutches, Hyunjin glanced up at his mother's unamused face, and he wore the same expression. She had no clue Changbin was here and she wouldn't figure it out no matter how hard she stared through those bloodshot eyes. "Who you talking to down here?"

"Does it look like I'm talking to someone?"

"Don't toy with me, you little--" Mrs. Hwang had to cut herself off to cough into her fist, making Changbin retch inside.  _So unsanitary_. "Why is your room such a mess! Can't hardly see where I'm going through all this mess..."

"Not my fault you're wasted," Hyunjin mumbled. Changbin clenched his jaw in protest, thinking he should be more respectful to his mother. He stayed as quiet as he could though, shaking his head and cringing to himself.

"What did you say to me?" Mrs. Hwang barked. The sloshing of her flask was audible through the closet door, and quite repulsive to the nostrils too. "Answer me, you scrawny douche!"

"I said you're a horrible mother!" he screamed back. He gazed in Mrs. Hwang's dark eyes as she let go of her flask; the clatter on the floor made Changbin jump, but he stayed quiet regardless, pressing his ear against the door. "No. Don't touch me."

"I'll choke you to death!" Mrs. Hwang promised, wrapping her pulpy fingers around his narrow neck and squeezing as hard as she could.

"St--please--"

"Say it again!" Mrs. Hwang screamed, spit flying. Hyunjin's eyes welled up as the pain increased and his breathing became staggered. He could no longer smell anything and his head grew dizzy, but luckily a car drove by and Mrs. Hwang ceased her act of murdering Hyunjin lest she be seen. Little did she know, Changbin was silent-sobbing in the closet, ready to rescue Hyunjin as soon as the witch was gone. All his questions about Hyunjin's living situation were answered. He finally had an update to present to Dr. Seo, sad as it was.

Hyunjin collapsed again when Mrs. Hwang stumbled out of the room, bending over to pick up her flask; both her knees cracked when she stood back up. She was gone soon, but Changbin waited to leave the closet until the footsteps on the stairs were completely silent.

"Oh my God," he whispered, bursting through the closet doors and rushing to Hyunjin's side. He was blinded by warm tears and instantly threw his arms around Hyunjin.

"I'm sorry," Hyunjin said. He really was--he kept this secret away from Changbin until now, snuck him into his house where the abuse was bound to happen, and forced him to listen to the live show. He was so sorry. His tears slipped like the flask did out of Mrs. Hwang's hands. Even though it hurt to talk after having been noosed by his mother, Hyunjin bleated, "Changbin, I'm so sorry."

Changbin could only shush him. There was absolutely nothing Hyunjin had to apologize for; in fact, Changbin felt responsible for not taking action on his suspicions against Mrs. Hwang. Sure, telling his dad something  _might_ be going on was more than anyone else did, but was Changbin ever brave enough to ask Hyunjin directly or smart enough to see the signs more clearly?

His mother didn't let him have a working light bulb, kept him holed up in his room like a chicken in a coop, drank regularly and was borderline addicted, threatened to kill him, almost did kill him, kept his father's existence hidden from him--the list was longer than Changbin could even begin think about. More and more of Mrs. Hwang's scandals came flooding into Changbin's mind and gave him all the more reason to hold Hyunjin tighter. But it wasn't like Hyunjin felt awkward or anything because of Changbin's urge to comfort him as he lie on the floor, more thankful than ever for having lungs--no, Hyunjin hadn't been embraced in probably more than ten years, given the looks of Mrs. Hwang, and this felt more than heavenly.


	16. an hgtv experience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you will not BELIEVE the hardwood floors in this place

[click for a cover i can't stop listening to](https://youtu.be/zZ4n0fI23_g)

The power of fear whisked Hyunjin and Changbin into a rather inseparable state, at least until Changbin light-bulbed an escape plan with the end destination being his own home. Both a complete mess, they snuck out of the house by the same means Changbin did when entering. They sped all the way to Changbin's car, although technically they were safe from Mrs. Hwang the second they stepped outside.

"Wait," Changbin said, finally wiping his eyes on his T-shirt collar, "do you consent?"

"I don't know," Hyunjin admitted. He had his fingers curled around the door handle and his crutches ready to be thrown in the backseat. What did consent even mean?

"Do you give permission? Just so this feels less like a kidnapping. I'm panicking, dude."

"Yeah." They climbed in simultaneously and Changbin stepped on the gas, trying some calming breaths so that he could talk without his voice wavering. "Your place?"

"Yeah," Changbin said. "Is that fine?"

"Of course," said Hyunjin. "I'm really sorry you had to see all that. Maybe if I didn't shove you in my closet, she wouldn't have done anything."

"Enough apologies out of you," Changbin shushed. "It's not your fault that happened. Are you breathing okay? Does it still hurt?"

"I'm fine," Hyunjin said, but truthfully, he was still feeling vulnerable. Any second now, a fuming Hwang Mijoo would stick her arms around Hyunjin's headrest and choke his brittle throat once again. There might be bruises.

Minutes later, Changbin pulled into a paved driveway. He had been tapping his fingers excessively on the steering wheel, something he picked up from his mother as a nervous driving habit; "You don't have to say anything about this to my parents if they're home. I won't either, until you're ready to talk about it."

Hyunjin nodded solemnly and pulled his crutches out of the back seat, still afraid his mother could be hitchhiking back there, and had trouble opening the car door since he was only ever used to being in Mrs. Hwang's car. That was a disturbing realization. Changbin jogged around the car and helped Hyunjin out, instinctively putting his hand on Hyunjin's back once he was standing up straight. They hobble down the driveway together at snail speed.

"Your house is so pretty," Hyunjin muttered because his eyes had been focused on his and Changbin's feet until now. The bricks of Changbin's house somehow seemed less dusty--more cared for--even though the truth of all the houses in the neighborhood was that no one specifically cleaned the exteriors; perhaps the fact that Changbin's father was a doctor and his mother was a physical therapist made every corner sharper, every color bolder, every flower crisper, and every speck of paint more opaque. Hyunjin's home was black and white in comparison to this masterful experience of a residence--he would even go as far as to assume the house had a name, like the White House.

"Thank you," Changbin chuckled; after witnessing Mrs. Hwang's outrage, anything that was lighthearted enough could make him laugh. "My bedroom's not a whole lot different from yours, though."

"Really?" This made Hyunjin's eyes glow for the first time in a while. He finally had a reason not to be ashamed of his room!

"I'll show you. Let's go inside," Changbin gestured. "I'll tell my parents you're spending the night, unless you don't to." He raised his brows hopefully.

"I-I've never been to a sleepover," Hyunjin recalled, but then he realized that was only because Mrs. Hwang insisted on sucking the fun out of his childhood. He reciprocated Changbin's expression.

"Don't worry about it, it'll just be us two." Changbin helped Hyunjin go inside. The first thing Hyunjin noticed was that the house wasn't split level but led into an open floor plan, several doorless rooms branching off to the sides and a wide hallway extending forward, as seen from the entrance of the house. There was a staircase off to the right side made of pale, glossy wood, which paired well with the cream colored walls decorated with enormous paintings, family photos, proverbs, and the like. Hyunjin didn't know where to go, so he balked right in front of the door.

Changbin interrupted the younger boy's observations by saying, "My room is upstairs. Will coming up and down the stairs be a problem with your crutches?"

Hyunjin shook his head. Before he and Changbin even reached the base of the staircase, a familiar head popped out of one of the rooms in the hall and grinned at them.

"Hi, Hyunjin!" Eunkyung cheered, her eyes big due to the pleasant surprise. "Glad you and Changbin are finally hanging out! How are those legs?"

"Fine," Hyunjin admitted, lifting a finger off his crutches to wave at her.

"Mom, he's spending the night here," Changbin piped up. "You don't have to make us dinner or anything. I can pick something up."

"Nonsense," Eunkyung shook her head. "I finally get to show off my cooking skills. Do you have any allergies?" She channeled her attention towards Hyunjin, who was now standing on the first step to attempt to get a head start.

"Not that I know of," he said, eyeing Changbin to reinforce his statement, and Changbin agreed. Alas, Eunkyung allowed them to go upstairs after explaining that her husband might not make it home for dinner tonight because of his tight work schedule. This was more a relief to Hyunjin than a concern, as he wasn't sure whether it would be awkward seeing Dr. Seo in his own house. It might feel like special treatment, which was not what he hoped to achieve by consenting to going to Changbin's house.

Changbin led the way through a network of halls and showed Hyunjin to his bedroom. He had navy blue walls, but one of them was covered in chalkboard paint, the powder marks creating a school-like impression on Hyunjin. He hadn't been to school in years.

"Your room is so much nicer than mine," Hyunjin pouted, noticing how much larger Changbin's bed was, how shiny the floor was, how much brighter it was despite having such dark wall paint, and how much more space there was total. He turned to Changbin directly, accusing, "You were just being polite, weren't you?"

"Of course not! Your room is really nice," Changbin said, and his expression didn't falter so Hyunjin let it go. "Have a seat anywhere. I think we should talk."

"More?" Hyunjin asked. He was too absorbed in the coolness that radiated off every piece of Changbin's furniture to care. "Changbin, that kind of thing was happening every night--the only difference is you saw it."

"That's exactly why I want to talk to you," said the other, more worried boy. "I had to clean your wounds for you. You shouldn't have wounds that need to be cleaned in the first place."

"Don't make it sound like a chore," Hyunjin huffed, turning his eyes away out of annoyance.

"I didn't mean to," Changbin cleared up. "But--and don't get mad, okay?--I think you and I should talk to my parents about it. That way, you can stay here longer without raising any questions, and it might be relieving to have more people know."

"What am I supposed to do though? Move in?"

"Trust me, my parents would let you, and I don't think your mom really has a say," Changbin said.

Hyunjin chuckled, as this was true, and finally nodded his head. Although he was on board now, he still had a stone of uneasiness in his stomach. He said, "I just don't know how to address it."

"I'll mention at dinner. Just follow my lead."

\- 천천히 -

Hyunjin had trouble speaking much at dinner. For one thing, his mouth was full of the best food he had tasted in the entirety of eight years, and for another thing, Changbin was trying to explain to his parents where all those facial bruises came from. It was difficult for all of them to sit through--including Dr. Seo, who made it home in time after all--but Changbin remained calm and held Hyunjin's clammy, trembling hand under the table.

"How long exactly has this been going on?" Dr. Seo asked. "Changbin and I had our suspicions that something was up, but there was no way to tell until now."

"Since I came out of my coma," Hyunjin blushed. He couldn't bring up the courage to look anyone in the eye and instead squeezed Changbin's hand, hanging his head too.

"Right under our noses," Dr. Seo mumbled shamefully, though it was apparent to everyone that this was no one's fault except Mrs. Hwang's.

"Hyunjin," Eunkyung said, her brows drawn in regard, "I hate to bring the memory back, but when she said that thing about your dad during PT, do you think it was just a way for her to get under your skin?"

"It was," Hyunjin confirmed. His voice was quiet and his head was hot. He felt so exposed. "I recently found out my real dad is alive, in Tokyo."

"I know this is a lot to take in," Changbin announced, "but I was thinking Hyunjin could stay here for a while."

Dr. Seo and Eunkyung started shaking their heads supportively in unison, then each rambled about how welcome Hyunjin was to their household and that they would help sort things out and make him feel at home. He finally lifted his head once the room grew quiet and finished what was left of his dinner, dishing out a compliment about Eunkyung's cooking in the process, clearly blocking out the fact that his life story had just become a burden over two more people. The only good that could come out of this, Hyunjin hypothesized, was that Mrs. Hwang was in for a treat as soon as word got out.

When everyone was finished, Changbin offered to help his mother with the dishes, but instead she insisted Changbin let Hyunjin take a shower and watch a movie afterwards just to "get comfy." That he did, and Hyunjin never felt so blissful in his life, even when the butterfly bandages finally peeled off his cheek as a result of exposure to steam.

He was instructed to sleep in Changbin's bed--Changbin would be fine sleeping on the couch--and did so wonderfully, though there were multiple times in the night where he woke up and scanned the room for any trace of danger. Even though he didn't find any, he couldn't wrap his blankets around himself any tighter and couldn't shake the thought that his dad was out there somewhere: either he was hurt by Mrs. Hwang too, or he was part of the reason she hurt Hyunjin.

It all came down to Hwang Mijoo no matter what direction Hyunjin chose to look at it. It was all her fault.


	17. going down swingin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as of december 2, i started writing a sequel to this book!! please don't be upset if i ditch it after a while though because sometimes when i try writing sequels, i realize the book is final enough as a standalone. i'm off to a good start though.

Eunkyung climbed up the steps in her house in pursuit of Hyunjin. Rubbing her hands together nervously, she knocked on Changbin's bedroom door, but there was no reply. Perhaps since it was a Saturday morning, Hyunjin was sleeping in, but Eunkyung had no frame of reference as to his regular sleeping schedule. She allowed herself into the bedroom and peered inside, instantly seeing Hyunjin's discolored face on top of white pillows.

His bruises were prominent but healing, and the cuts where his bandages had been the day before were fading scabs at this point. Eunkyung didn't want to wake the poor boy up after having learned how hard his life was--he deserved a break, didn't he? But a police officer was at the front door waiting to see him, who had been filed as missing by Mrs. Hwang.

The worried woman crept forward and bent over the edge of the bed, placing her hand on Hyunjin's shoulder and shaking it lightly. "Hyunjin, wake up."

He was clearly too submerged to have heard her, so she shook a bit harder and placed her palm on his cheek. She wasn't that focused on making sure he woke up, though, because her heart was telling her to let the officer know Hyunjin was being abused. The proof was there on his face, if not anywhere else on his frail body.

"Hmm?" Hyunjin hummed suddenly, gently removing Eunkyung's hand from his face. He sat up straight as part of a morning habit.

"There's a police officer here asking about you," Eunkyung told him bashfully. "He told me your mother said you were missing. You should come downstairs."

"Sure," Hyunjin mumbled. He was so tired, it was hard standing up, so Eunkyung placed her hand supportively on his back and led him to his crutches.

"Poor kid, you're probably so sore..."

"I'm not a kid," Hyunjin said. Eunkyung just smiled and gestured into the hallway, anxious to have the officer leave her property as anyone would be. She and Hyunjin could see the man from the top of the stairs, and his presence became more apparent to Hyunjin the further downstairs he went. His heart pounded; he was awake now. It didn't occur to him earlier that he could be in trouble with the police for something--now it was all he could think about, aside from which foot was touching which step.

As soon as Hyunjin and Eunkyung arrived at the door, Changbin sat up on the couch and observed the scene at the front door noiselessly. He'd been preoccupied until hearing the crutches on the stairs.

"Good morning, son," said the officer. "Are you Hwang Hyunjin?"

"Yeah," said the sleepy teen, squinting at him because the sky was bright outside of the threshold.

"Where did you get all those bruises? And the crutches?" the officer queried, though it appeared that that wasn't the question he intended to ask in the first place. Hyunjin felt himself blushing.

"Uh, a wrestling accident."

"Anyway," the officer said skeptically, "are you aware that your mother reported you as missing last night?"

"No," Hyunjin said. He looked down at his feet, thankful that Eunkyung was still close by, and blurted to the officer, "I'm just spending the night at my friend's house. I'll call my mom as soon as possible--sorry for the inconvenience."

"Not so fast," the man insisted, holding his palm out before Hyunjin could try to leave. Both of them let out a frustrated sigh. "As required by law, I have to escort you back home. Come along."

Eunkyung and Hyunjin looked at each other, then Hyunjin backwards at Changbin: he would have to go home and face the monster once again. All of the people inside the house were suddenly overcome with distress but couldn't let the officer know this--despite Eunkyung's inner need to confess everything to him--so Hyunjin stepped forward, thinking that if he left any of his belongings here he would definitely come back to get them, and followed the police officer to his vehicle. It felt like he was being legally punished for finally finding an escape from Mrs. Hwang. She was _that_ wicked.

"How long have you been a wrestler?" the officer asked Hyunjin as a way to make the car ride less awkward. Changbin's home was only a couple minutes from Hyunjin's, but it felt like an eternity.

"Not long," Hyunjin said, and as an attempt to cheer himself up, he added playfully, "and probably not much longer after this." It felt so dirty lying to a police officer.

"Sorry, kid."

Hyunjin and the officer arrived at Mrs. Hwang's front door at least three years later, and Hyunjin could swear the man recoiled as soon as he saw Mrs. Hwang's sagging face. "Good morning, Mrs. Hwang. Make sure this one quits wrestling from now on, okay?"

"Thanks," Mrs. Hwang said, plastering a closed-mouth smile on her face. Hyunjin lurched forward and into the house, automatically hating the split-level nature of it, and gulped hard as Mrs. Hwang shut the front door behind him. They were quiet for a minute.

"Wrestling? Anyone can see you're too flimsy for that," Mrs. Hwang suddenly commented, shaking her head as the anger oozed out. She nudged him on the shoulder to add to her point and watched as his whole upper body swiveled backwards. "I can't believe you snuck out! Getting into your old habits again, ain't you?"

"How should I know?" Hyunjin yelled in return. He was glaring hard.

"Don't get smart with me, you little bastard," she hissed, grabbing a fistful of his clean, pillow-matted hair and pulling upwards to inflict pain. "You know what kind of worry this caused me? I had to go to the police!"

"Too bad they didn't throw you in jail," Hyunjin muttered. He grimaced as Mrs. Hwang's fingers pulled harder on his hair and her free hand scratched continuously at his scabs.

"What did you say to me? Come on, say it!"

"I said you're a fucking hag!" Both of them were more than livid now, so much that the foyer could have been chock-full of the steam coming out of their four ears.

As proud as he was for having released his feelings about his mother, Hyunjin simultaneously regretted every word and saw his miserable life flash before his eyes: the tear-inducing Christmas photo, the day he woke up from his coma, his first beating, but also his first friend. Mrs. Hwang bared her teeth and used all her might to shove Hyunjin backwards, and backwards happened to be downstairs. Hyunjin hit his head on multiple wooden steps on the way down; the highway to hell was indeed very painful and very real.

The metal crutches skated down the stairs after him and landed on either of his sides. His bedroom door, directly to the right of his head, was hardly visible despite it being morning time; his vision was so clouded from the blow that he lay still for several minutes. He was convinced Mrs. Hwang came downstairs to check his pulse at one point, but there was no way to tell since she was long out of sight by the time he could see properly again. Hyunjin didn't sit up but instead extended his throbbing arms: one to the back of his head, the other to his grimy doorknob.

As soon as he could stand, he was going to pack his laptop and clothes, call Changbin for a ride, and get out of there.  _It's about time._


	18. dr. dre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nothin ya idiot dr. dre's dead

[click for a bop u need to know](https://youtu.be/ppt_dzcvF0I)

[click here too its another bop](https://youtu.be/oGKAU4p_fqI)

There was little light showing through the three people that were towering over Hyunjin; these people, of course, were the Seos in a corner of a hallway in the hospital, and they were all chatting feverishly about different things that somehow corresponded to the situation as they knew it.

"Someone hand me the suture thread!" Dr. Seo ordered for the third time, as Eunkyung and Changbin were whispering amongst themselves incoherently at a very loud volume. Hyunjin finally reached into Dr. Seo's plastic kit, located on the floor beside him, and pulled out what looked like black dental floss, receiving a gracious look from Dr. Seo behind him. He was anxious to get the stitches over with and could not let anyone's panicked bandying delay it. The part of his neck that had been split open was stinging badly, and the Novocaine had only just kicked in--in fact, he was informed the first needle was the worst part, and he sure believed it was.

"Agh!" Hyunjin shouted when Dr. Seo began stitching, as he wasn't fully numb yet and the doctor was worried about blood loss. Hyunjin screwed his eyes shut and reached up to grip Changbin's shoulder as tightly as he could.

"It's okay, Hyunjin," Dr. Seo mumbled to distract him. "I have to work fast, so this'll be over soon."

Unfortunately, the pain eased away after Dr. Seo finished, but at least it wasn't itching. Dr. Seo placed a black bandage on the stitches and patted Hyunjin's shoulder, notifying everyone that he had to get back to work. Changbin sat beside Hyunjin on the floor, and Eunkyung knelt down in front of them.

"You wanna tell us how you got that?" Eunkyung asked softly, nodding at the bandage on his neck. Hyunjin looked down at his lap and groped beside him for Changbin's hand; he found that hand-holding was very therapeutic.

"I fell down the stairs," Hyunjin breathed, trying his hardest not to look at anyone's eyes.

"Was it an accident?" Eunkyung pried. Hyunjin shook his head in denial.

"Oh my God," Changbin gasped, switching the hand he was holding with Hyunjin and using his closer arm to put his arm around the fragile boy. "I'm so sorry."

"Hyunjin, I reported domestic abuse to the police when you went home," Eunkyung blurted out. Changbin and Hyunjin snapped their heads up to look directly at her reddish eyes.

"You did?" the boy asked, feeling a knot in his stomach release and a new one tighten. He didn't know how to feel: on one hand, he might never have to see Mrs. Hwang again, but on the other, now he had no family left to go to. His father was too far out of reach and Hyunjin was nowhere near prepared to get a job and pay for the flight himself, and if he ever decided to go back to his mother it would be the next time he felt he was at rock bottom. Her confession to the police just established that he was, in fact, weak and beaten, with no parents and no hope whatsoever.

Hyunjin's chin trembled as an indefinite sob escaped him. Eunkyung ascended to her full height and paced back to the Emergency Room where she would inform the receptionist that the paperwork was taken care of; Changbin hugged Hyunjin for a moment and helped him stand, thinking he was going to cry as well, but he held it together so Hyunjin felt more secure.

"Mom, I'm taking off work this week," Changbin told Eunkyung once they were in earshot, and then he led Hyunjin to the car.

Hyunjin was settled in the backseat with his crutches sprawled across the seat and his forehead pressed against the cold glass window. Somehow, he doubted he was really free.

\- 천천히 -

The next evening, after watching  _Seeking A Friend for the End of the World_ together, Hyunjin and Changbin had to explore Hyunjin's pants size so he could change. All five spare articles of clothing that Hyunjin brought to Changbin's house were in the washing machine, and he needed something comfortable to wear to bed.

"I have a bunch of sweatpants that are too big for me," Changbin offered, opening his enormous closet before him and Hyunjin.

"I'm not fat," Hyunjin reminded him. At this point, it was a force of habit to say things like that; he had seen photos of himself and had the memory of being chubby as a kid.

"I know, but you're a lot taller than I am," Changbin laughed, grabbing a pair of black ones and a hoodie that would go well with it. "Do you like these?"

"Sure." Hyunjin took the outfit from Changbin's hands and changed in the bathroom, admiring how soft the fabrics were against his skin. As he got dressed, he discovered a bruise on his right hamstring that was the size of three apples stacked up. He hadn't even noticed, but it perhaps he was shutting out the pain or was simply too accustomed to the feeling to acknowledge it. When he returned to the bedroom, Changbin was dressed similarly and was sitting on the edge of his bed.

"There you are," Changbin smiled, standing up. He had a pair of headphones in his hands and his jacket hood up; it was a good look on him. "Do you mind if I record for a bit? I haven't been free much this week."

"Go ahead," Hyunjin said. For a while, he forgot Changbin made music. "Can I watch?"

This made Changbin grin. "Yeah! I've never had an audience before."

"Don't worry, I won't judge you," Hyunjin said, though that was weirdly obvious to Changbin already.

"Thanks," said the other, beckoning Hyunjin to a door that led to his personal recording studio and Hyunjin followed him at his heel in the new room. The equipment looked complex, but Changbin was clearly an expert in using it. "Have you ever considered singing? Or rapping like me?"

"No, not really," Hyunjin shook his head, though looking at how much Changbin invested in it, Hyunjin was willing to reconsider. Changbin pointed him to a chair fixated against the wall and played with some power buttons and settings on his recording devices.

"You have a really nice speaking voice," Changbin complimented, "so I bet you'd be really good. Want to try?"

"I'd rather watch you."

"All right," Changbin shrugged, his tone of voice implying Hyunjin was missing out on something. He produced his phone out of a pocket that Hyunjin didn't see before and opened an app that appeared to have some some lyrics written on it. Adjusting his hood around his expensive headphones, Changbin stepped up to a mic and scrolled down some on his phone screen. Hyunjin couldn't hear anything for a little while but Changbin clearly could, as he was tapping to some unheard beat and swaying accordingly. Hyunjin admired how moved Changbin was becoming while listening to his own work.

In just five more seconds, Changbin's face gained a sort of fierceness that Hyunjin had never yet seen; his mouth fell open and words fell out; his rapping voice was raspy and very different from his speaking voice. A whole new dimension belonged to him now, and Hyunjin was a lame mix of startled and intimidated.

" _If I forget or lose something precious, I'll be struggling and continue to stay confined in this empty space,_ " Changbin said passionately as one of his first lines. Hyunjin tried listening to the lyrics more intently. " _Slamming the doors harder on beat, then it's unlocked. Inside there is the hated painful experience, the most painful beating..._ "

It quickly dawned on Hyunjin that the song was about him. Changbin finished recording and removed his headphones, suddenly seeming shy and embarrassed for having shown his talents to someone. Hyunjin understood why he pursued music in such a way, but also why he chose to intern at the hospital: no one would ever be as touched as Hyunjin was that Changbin wrote about his hardships.

"Damn, Changbin," said Hyunjin in a quiet yet amazed voice. He and Changbin started laughing.

"So did you like it?"

"I loved it!"

Hyunjin stood up and praised his gifted friend with a hug, which had become habitual at this point. Changbin's hood tugged backwards as Hyunjin came at him but it didn't fall completely off. More seriously, he whispered to Changbin, "You know what it's about, right?"

"Of course I do," said Hyunjin. "Thanks for writing that."

"Your life is, like, one of a kind, so I had to write about it," Changbin admitted jokingly. Hyunjin blushed but erupted in chuckles, proceeding to ask Changbin to teach him about music. That song, later entitled "If" by the two of them, had opened a window to another world that he was left out of, and he wanted that to change as soon as possible.


	19. can i have your wifi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why'd you have to go and make things so complicated

[click here if u didn't get the reference in the chapter summary](https://youtu.be/DTtb9rt1tnk)

"Changbin!" Hyunjin hollered, startling the older boy awake. He had started sleeping upstairs with Hyunjin because they were both more comfortable on beds than couches, and since he had the week off of work, Changbin tended to sleep in until brunch. It was currently ten AM.

"What?" asked the other, rising up alertly and wiping at his sleep-ridden eyes.

"Felix is calling me," Hyunjin said, unsure whether to be excited about the news; he had been on Google looking at current events articles from the past month when his Skype icon notified him there was an incoming call, and only one person had his Skype information (to his knowledge): Felix Lee.

"Well, answer it!" Changbin urged, suddenly wide awake. He had been laying on his stomach and switched around so he was able to sit properly next to Hyunjin. "I wonder why he's calling first. It's usually you."

"Whatever," Hyunjin muttered, clicking the accept button on the call. His screen went black for a minute and then pixels of Felix's familiar face slowly came into focus; soon, he was as clear as ever, and he was only half-smiling. Probably because he saw Changbin there.

"Morning," Felix greeted, his voice following a little after his lips moved. The lag bothered Hyunjin. "How have you guys been?"

"Fine," said Hyunjin in a monotone.

"Really great! How are you?" Changbin asked in return, his face overtaken by a grin. The bubbly feeling was back in his stomach, and he loved it.

"Me too," said Felix, his little smirk turning into a smile at its full potential. "I miss you. But anyway, I called with news."

"Shoot." (Hyunjin couldn't sound more apathetic in Changbin's opinion.)

"In the next week or so, I'm going back to Korea with a friend! We're going to be on holiday then!"

"I don't think that's how you use the word  _holiday_ ," Hyunjin whispered to Changbin, but Felix must have heard because he laughed. He tried his hardest not to focus on the fact that he would probably get to see Felix's face again because their closeness had obviously been jeopardized, and with Changbin here and the friend that was supposedly going to tag along with Felix, there was no telling how excited Felix would be to see Hyunjin in particular. It just didn't ignite any excitement in Hyunjin, whereas Changbin would be jumping up and down if it weren't for Hyunjin being in the room.

"That's incredible!" Changbin exclaimed, so Hyunjin tilted his laptop screen slightly towards him; obviously Changbin cared more about the conversation. "What city are you going to? Seoul, I hope...?"

"You got it," Felix grinned. "I've got to work out a hotel or something--I'm booking for the tenth through the twenty-fourth--Mum won't even chip in since she's paying for my plane ticket."

"Why don't you stay at my place?" Changbin offered, pretty much without thinking it through. "It's a hell of a lot cheaper."

"Wait, really?" Felix asked, his jaw dropping at the offer. Hyunjin thought the same thing: not only would he have to  _see_ Felix again, but to live with him for an entire school break... "Changbin, you're amazing. Just please check with the oldies before I go telling Mum, will you?"

 _Oldies? What's he talking about?_  Hyunjin wondered in frustration. The slang didn't phase Changbin one bit.

"Texting 'em right now," Changbin narrated as his phone appeared magically in his hands, and he speedily typed a text message to Eunkyung and Dr. Seo to let them know Felix Plus One definitely would be staying over for a while. "By the way, who's your friend?"

"Chris!" Felix beamed. "Hyunjin, do you know him?"

"Hmm?" Hyunjin had been too submerged in his nightmarish thoughts about having Felix over to have heard the innocent question. Things were awkward between them now, and Changbin didn't even think to ask Hyunjin if it would be okay. Not that Hyunjin could morally say no if that were the case, but he was upset about not having a say.

"I can't remember if you've met my mate Chris Bang, that's all."

"Oh, sure," Hyunjin nodded. He had never actually seen Chris's current face, but the name came up quite often in his coma dream and Chris was only about eleven years old in that dream as well. It was safe to assume Felix sent him photos of Chris before the accident.

"Great!" Felix said, clapping his hands together. "It's been way too long. Skype is nice too, but--"

He was cut off, probably due to the fact that Hyunjin was not connected to his normal WiFi; he found it ironic that Felix had just complimented Skype and then it crashed. Hyunjin closed out of the app, not intending to call back, and glared at Changbin.

"Um," Changbin mumbled, his peppy expression disintegrating before Hyunjin's eyes; "problem?"

"Yes, problem! You didn't even ask me if inviting Felix here was okay!"

"I'm sorry, I just assumed--" Changbin cut his own sentence short, knowing the apology had no effect on the disgruntled Hyunjin. He deflated in disappointment. Should he cancel on Felix or should he test Hyunjin's understanding?

"I don't know if I can handle living with him for however long he's going to be here."

"I thought you would be excited," Changbin admitted, clearly upset with himself for acting on an impulse. "Look, I'm not sure if I told you already or if you figured it out on your own, but Felix is my ex."

"Then why are you so eager to get him here?"

"It's not like we split up due to differences," Changbin explained. "It was just that my month in Australia had come to an end and I didn't have international texting, so we broke it off." Hyunjin nodded his head once and slumped against the headboard (stabbing the corner of a pillow into one of his undiscovered bruises in the process), still troubled despite not wanting to show it. Changbin seemed to have picked this up and asked, "Is there something else going on?"

"Sorry if I misled you," Hyunjin mumbled, "but I'm really uncomfortable talking to Felix. He and I never officially made up, but I know you're much more attached than I am, so I wasn't gonna say anything." He took a pause and looked Changbin in the eye: "It was never as sentimental for me as it was for you."

"Don't you think Felix feels differently though?"

"Please, you saw the way his face changed when he looked at you," Hyunjin said faster and louder, crossing his arms over his chest to show he firmly believed this alienated feeling was mutual. "And he said 'I miss  _you_ ,' not 'I miss you  _guys_.'"

"Okay, okay," Changbin said. He realized how testy Hyunjin was getting and softened his voice. Adjusting his position, he rotated so he was facing Hyunjin directly to say: "I know it's tense between you now, but don't you think it'd be nice to finally move on? Maybe that way you'll be excited for him to come--also, he doesn't even know you're staying here yet."

"You don't think that'll make him change his mind?"

"No, of course not," Changbin said. "I'm gonna go take a shower. You should probably have some breakfast while I'm getting ready."

"Sure," Hyunjin shrugged, folding his laptop shut as Changbin scrambled around the room for some toiletries he would carry with him to his personal bathroom. Hyunjin climbed out of bed for the second time that day, the first time to brush his teeth, and tucked the laptop tightly under his arm, maneuvering downstairs using just one of his crutches. Staying with Eunkyung and her family was beneficial for Hyunjin--she gave him exclusive exercising tips every once in a while, and he was fairly used to walking after having been out of the hospital for over two weeks.

Both of Changbin's parents were at work now and Hyunjin hadn't made himself food in years, so he set up camp at the kitchen's shiny island counter and reopened his laptop. His desktop was now the photograph of him and one of his fathers (he was satisfied with either) on Christmas. Somehow seeing someone that was once so close to him every time he opened his up computer was comforting.

For the sake of Changbin, Hyunjin wanted to believe if he saw Felix enough times he would also be comforted; at the same time, he didn't want to put any effort into warming up to Felix.


	20. liar liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pants on fire

_Why don't I ever pay attention?_

A torrent of irrational regret clouded Hyunjin's mind the closer he gravitated toward the window--it was a bay window located in the back of the Seo's house, and he knew for sure there was nothing quite as giving as this in his own home despite living in the same development. Through it, the sky was like the inside of a white peach: pale from the rainy weather as of late yet spotted with pinks and reds due to the sunrise, and each blade of grass below shone with dew as if they were coated in the peach's juice. This was the first September sunrise Hyunjin could ever remember; to say the least, he wished he had been conscious for more. He wished he had paid attention to more.

He had just woken up and brushed his teeth. Although it was still rather early, no one was in the house except for him. Hyunjin was sad to remember today was Changbin's first day back at the hospital. The past week was very comfortable for both boys, bringing them together even more, despite the embarrassment of Hyunjin having to teach Changbin to cope with anxiety when the police came to ask him questions regarding Mrs. Hwang (that was something Hyunjin learned when living with his mother).

Traveling back to Changbin's bedroom, now commonly referred to as "Hyunjin and Changbin's room" by the Seos, Hyunjin discovered a paper note left on his friend's pillow explaining everyone was at work and would be home before he knew it. There were also instructions explaining how to make food and a reminder that the shower water did not need time to warm up before use. He smiled at the note, crumpled it into a ball, and dropped it on the pillow again before climbing into bed and doing some routine morning research. Today was Monday, which he dedicated to research on social media.

It was hard following along with the concepts of Instagram and Twitter when Hyunjin didn't even  _own_ a cell phone--of course he saw Changbin and Felix using them, but the only two devices he had used in years were the landline in his laundry room and his laptop.

He wondered how active Changbin and Felix were on social media and if somehow, since the day Hyunjin reunited them, they had found each other's accounts. Perhaps they'd been speaking to each other ever since that first Skype call and exchanged usernames while Hyunjin was napping. It would explain Changbin's excitement.

With this in mind, Hyunjin opened the Skype app on his laptop. He wasn't necessarily trying to find out if there was any Hyunjin-exclusive conversation going on; it was just that thinking about Felix so often always reminded Hyunjin of how desperate Changbin was to see the mends in Hyunjin and Felix's friendship.

He took some calming breaths as the screen went black because Felix's camera wasn't on. He was probably still asleep, as Sydney's time zone was ahead by half an hour and the sun only just rose. To Hyunjin's dismay, the screen did not light up with his friend's big, optimistic smile.

\- 천천히 -

Felix's eyebrows darted inward for what looked like a split second, and Hyunjin only caught it because of the Skype lag. He clearly didn't want to react negatively in case it made Hyunjin feel bad.

It was noon before Felix ever answered Hyunjin's Skype calls; not that Hyunjin was anxious to tell him anything in particular, but there was a mini Changbin standing on his shoulder, telling him to get it over with:  _Set things right, Hyunjin!_

"What?" asked Hyunjin, sitting innocently enough on his side of the screen with his long legs folded--without cracking every time he moved--and his fingers poised on the wrong keyboard keys habitually. He had never seen Felix's face contort like that, even if it was only for a fraction of a second.

"N-not that it looks bad or anything," Felix stuttered nervously, repositioning himself on his wheeled office chair; "like, it's not even hardly noticeable. I don't know what I was thinking--"

"What?" Hyunjin asserted, louder this time. Felix nodded a couple times. He was putty.

"What are all those marks on your face? And why are you at Changbin's house when he's not there?" Felix rambled, scratching the back of his head so vigorously it made his streaked hair ruffle. "I saw some crutches in the background last time we talked, too--what are those for? Are you ill? I dunno, maybe I'm going mad..." His Korean was growing sloppy.

"Slow down, will you?" Hyunjin said in annoyed tone in contrast to Felix's noisy, anxious stammering. He then staged a chuckle and said, "I slipped in the shower because I'm still not that great at balancing. Changbin is at work, yes, but I'm here for physical therapy. You know, because of Eunkyung? We live real close."

"Oh," Felix sighed, grinning. "Sorry to freak out like that."

"It's okay," Hyunjin assured him. "Sorry for getting mad all the time."

"It's fine," Felix dismissed, swatting his hand at the matter as if to throw it away. "We're good then."

Hyunjin turned his head at the sound of the door opening, and in walked Eunkyung. "Mind if I open a window?"

"Go ahead," Hyunjin agreed.

"Oh--are you on Skype right now? So sorry to interrupt," Eunkyung mumbled as she dashed across the room super fast and unlocked Changbin's windows. "Tell 'em hi for me!"

"It's Felix," Hyunjin said, knowing the two had met before. Her eyes lit up and she came to Hyunjin's side, sitting on the edge of the bed to say hello.

"Hi, Mrs. Seo!" Felix exclaimed, unaware that he would get to see her again. In English, he said, "Come back to Australia. My mum misses you."

"I miss her too," Eunkyung said, also in English. Hyunjin furrowed his brows and tried following, but he couldn't. She switched back to Korean: "It's good to see you! I didn't know how close you and Hyunjin were."

"Oh, we're still getting there," Felix admitted. Hyunjin blushed violently because apparently verbalizing their disconnection to someone other than Changbin was humiliating. "How's the physical therapy, Mrs. Seo?"

"It's all right," she answered. "I haven't had many clients lately. I haven't even needed to treat Hyunjin much!"

"Why's he at your place then?" Felix asked. He was clearly less excited now, his smile minimizing but still there. Maybe he had been skeptical the entire time, and now his suspicions had just been confirmed as true.

"Oh," Eunkyung said, unprepared to answer such a question. "For Changbin, of course. I'll be on my way!" She scurried out.

Hyunjin's face had gone completely rouge, and he shut his eyes for lack of anything better to do.

"Hyunjin, I thought we were good," Felix murmured. "Who was lying, you or Mrs. Seo?"

"Both of us," said the embarrassed boy. He couldn't elaborate any further until Felix made him.

"Should I even bother asking for the truth then? You've even got Changbin's mum lying for you. I'm disappointed."

"It's for a reason," Hyunjin begged, reopening his eyes and seeing Felix's lively orbs narrowed. "I don't know if I can tell you the full truth. You wouldn't understand."

"All right," Felix shrugged, leaning backwards in his chair and biting his lips. "Guess I'll go then."

"No, wait!" Hyunjin nearly shouted, sitting forward and straining his abs. "It's just really personal, okay? Only Changbin's family knows."

"Only his whole family? That's more than enough," Felix assumed. He had a point, but Hyunjin would do anything not to tell him the situation.

"And," Hyunjin started, pushing his laptop off his legs and onto the bed in front of him so he could sit cross-legged, "and the police. They know too."

"The police?" Felix asked. "Hwang Hyunjin, are you doing drugs?"

"No! Listen to me!"

Felix settled in his seat and said quietly, "Okay."

"It's my mom," Hyunjin said.

He didn't know what hit him. Whether it was the word  _mom_ , the thought of her, the fact that he was forced to confess to another person, Hyunjin didn't know--but there were now bitter tears streaming down his face. It might've looked to Felix as though Hyunjin's mother had passed away or otherwise left, but no matter what, Felix's brain was clouded with disturbing thoughts:  _I was overreacting, wasn't I? Is he okay? Was I being too harsh?_

"Hyunjin, whatever it is, I'm sorry," Felix softened. "I-I was just jumping to conclusions. I bet it's really hard--you don't have to tell me."

"Of course," Hyunjin sobbed, shielding his face with his palm. He swore he held himself together when talking to the Seos about the issue. "It's too late. You know a lot already."

"What do you mean?"

"She was abusive to me," he said finally, and then there was silence.


	21. willkommen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> surprise mofo!

[September 10, 2018]

Not even Changbin's eyes could remain still; he was too exhilarated to sit in one spot. Although he was the driver and was supposed to abide to safety protocols, his knee bounced excitedly at stoplights and his fingers on the steering wheel were drumming loudly. His other hand was wrapped around another person's fingers.

"You really can't contain yourself, can you?" asked Felix charmingly, in English of course. He chuckled, but it wasn't just a chuckle: it was a marvelous song, a light, angelic hymn that made Changbin's ears perk. The Aussie accent touched Changbin's heart, and he wanted nothing more than to listen to it.

"No," Changbin laughed in return. His street sign came into view; after he acknowledged it, his eyes flicked up to the rearview mirror. "Are you ready, Chris?"

Chris Bang, Felix's best friend, was a fairly muscular guy--that was the first thing Changbin noticed about him at the airport. Older than Changbin and Felix, Chris seemed athletic but was actually more into cinematography and musical instruments than sports (as far as Changbin was told, but Chris would probably never admit it firsthand). He was buckled into the seat behind Felix, and his legs took up a lot of room; his left hand resting casually on the middle seat, he leaned slightly forward to be more included in the front-seat conversation. He seemed so sweet and easygoing; he'd probably try right away to befriend Hyunjin--hopefully Hyunjin would accept Chris's friendliness. Changbin thought he was very handsome, on top of everything else, maybe even more so than Felix.

No, nobody was more handsome than Felix.

"I'm keen!" Chris grinned, pumping a fist in the air and practically turning into one gigantic smile. "You talk about Hyunjin so much, it's like getting to meet a celebrity!"

"Celebrity?" Changbin asked in a whisper, turning his eyes to Felix for guidance as he had never heard that word in English before. Felix smiled and repeated it in Korean. Then Changbin exclaimed, "Yes! A celebrity!"

"Say, where's your house?" Felix asked all of a sudden, squeezing Changbin's hand a bit tighter because it had been so long. His thumb traced patterns on Changbin's rough skin.

"Right there," Changbin replied, nodding toward the beautiful brick building. The space between Changbin's car and the house decreased in a matter of seconds, until finally the trio was standing in the paved driveway. "Hyunjin's a little sore from physical therapy, so he can't come to the door. Let me show you inside!"

He gave the two a hand with their luggage and led them up the porch steps and inside. Felix's impression of it was only slightly new, as he had seen photographs before--Chris, on the other hand, looked in every direction when entering the house, admiring everything from the paint color to the smell of the air. It was as if he had just stepped through a portal and Changbin's home was on the other side.

His awestricken reaction reminded Changbin of Hyunjin.

"Hey, Hyunjin!" Changbin called, setting the multiple suitcases off to the side for now so he could introduce his friend to Felix and Chris.

"What?" Hyunjin yelled from the living room. He was sitting on the sofa in the corner closest to the front door, so his body was facing the opposite direction. His crutches leaned against the arm of the sofa and were at risk for slipping onto the clean wooden floor because Hyunjin hadn't put much effort into keeping them upright. Just looking at them made his arms hurt.

"We have some visitors," Changbin provoked, beckoning Felix and Chris into the living room to present to Hyunjin.

"Nice lounge," Chris mumbled to no one in particular as he went to greet Hyunjin.

"Hey," Felix waved, the color of his eyes hardly discernible due to his enormous full-face smile. Hyunjin's mouth fell open: he forgot today was the tenth, so this came as a shock.

With a little bit of strain, Hyunjin pried himself off the couch and stood up, discovering he was now taller than Felix by at least three inches. If he remembered correctly, Felix had always been the taller one. Hyunjin said his old friend's name in a combination of reverence and surprise, not sure what exactly to do with himself. He blinked sheepishly and looked at Changbin as a force of habit--Changbin just grinned, silently urging Hyunjin to redirect himself to the visitor.

"Been a while," Felix said softly. He eyed Hyunjin up and down for a second, and having let go of Changbin's warm hand, he lunged forward to hug Hyunjin. Truth be told, if he hadn't done it, Hyunjin would have. It really had been a while.

"Thanks for coming," Hyunjin whispered, squeezing Felix around the ribs. Again, it felt so nice being able to embrace someone and mean it. To touch someone and have them feel it too. All the warmth in the world, it seemed, had been captured between them; Changbin and Chris even felt it.

"This doesn't hurt, does it?" Felix asked, ignoring Hyunjin's other statement. The older one chuckled, touching his cheek to the side of Felix's head. He was glad to have told Felix about his situation at home, or else the question wouldn't have come up. He noticed Felix's grip was particularly light.

"No, it feels great," Hyunjin informed him. "How are you?"

"Really good," Felix hummed, his face practically buried in Hyunjin's cotton shirt. Standing off to the side, Changbin and Chris had their arms around each other's backs, watching the reunion from afar. It was heartwarming.

Hyunjin was the first to pull away; he didn't want to make Changbin jealous or leave the other guest out. "You're Chris. Nice to see you."

"Thanks," Chris smiled, separating from Changbin to shake Hyunjin's hand cordially. "Nice to finally meet you! Felix made you sound really nice."

Hyunjin looked Felix in the eye with an expression that silently asked,  _Even though I was an asshole to you?_  but Felix just smiled and leaned into Changbin. "Well, he wasn't wrong," Hyunjin joked, patting Chris on the shoulder.

Three of them took a moment to bring their luggage upstairs, where there was a makeshift guest bedroom for one person and an air mattress for the other--Felix willingly took it so his best friend would feel more pampered on the futon said to be in the new room. Hyunjin had to wait downstairs and continue massaging his quads with warm water bottles, as they were tight from having endured so many strength tests the day before (Eunkyung had even apologized in advance). In what felt like years, the three other boys returned downstairs and took residence on the couch cushions and recliner. They were situated in a manner that left a little bit of space between Felix and Hyunjin but no space at all between Felix and Changbin, and Chris was the one to claim the armchair.

"How was the flight here?" Changbin asked; from what Hyunjin could see past Felix's head, Changbin was looking more towards Chris yet still had his fingers tied up in Felix's hair.

"It was shit house," Chris summed up, and Felix nodded in agreement. "Absolute trash."

"We don't really like flying," Felix admitted, "especially without our mums."

"Speak for yourself!" Chris defended, causing laughter to sound from Changbin, Hyunjin, and Felix. "I was brave the whole time, I just have a bad history with turbulence."

"He's fibbing," Felix whispered, reaching over to knock Hyunjin in the arm as if to make him agree.

"Felix was holding my hand the whole time," Chris announced. "He was so scared! Bet that's half of why he's so clingy today, eh?"

"God, I hope not," Changbin laughed. From there, Felix bent oddly close to Changbin so he could whisper something, and it made Changbin's face light up significantly.

The conversation carried on forever, it seemed, about lighthearted catching-up topics. Hyunjin found himself more of an audience member than a participant in the conversation, and it was bothering him. Even Changbin and Chris, who were friends but not close, appeared to be getting along perfectly. Hyunjin was certain that if he left the room, no one would notice.

He decided to test this hypothesis and limped his way up the stairs, ditching his crutches because they started to hurt his shoulders every time he used them. He went to Changbin's room and sat on the edge of the bed, leaning with his elbows on his knees and staring solemnly at the floor. It was oddly more peaceful being downstairs than it was being alone, but at the same time, Hyunjin felt more ignored when the other people were around him. It was even worse knowing Felix and Changbin were probably dating again because there was no room for Hyunjin anywhere.

After about five minutes, Hyunjin realized he was being excessive and jealous and wanted to resolve it by going downstairs and socializing. Maybe that would make a difference, or maybe it wouldn't, but Hyunjin was ready now.

"Hey," said a soft voice in the hallway before Hyunjin could even get his body off the mattress. Wasn't he alone this whole time? "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Hyunjin called.  _Chris and Changbin must be suspicious_.

"What are you up here for?" his new guest, Felix, asked. His heart was beating fast just because being in Changbin's room gave him a rush, but he didn't dare let his eyes stray away from Hyunjin's in case it implied he wasn't actually interested.

"I wasn't having any fun down there," Hyunjin admitted under his breath, then screwed his eyes shut: "I know, it's selfish."

"A bit, yeah," Felix chuckled. "I did notice you being quiet. Anything wrong?"

"I shouldn't say."

"Try me!" Felix was extremely skittish here, thinking Hyunjin would drop another bomb on him like the time he confessed he was being abused--luckily this just gave Felix all the more reason to check up on Hyunjin. "I won't judge you. I've got no room to."

"Okay," Hyunjin agreed. "Changbin gets along with you two a lot easier than he does with me. I know I get upset a lot and yell at him sometimes, but I don't feel included at all."  _I feel like a ten-year-old again._

Felix just scowled and sat down beside Hyunjin on the bed, putting his hands face-down on his thighs and preparing himself to bring up something touchy. He tilted his face towards Hyunjin and out slipped the question: "Sorry that I have to ask you this, but does it bother you that I'm gay? I know I technically never told you, but I never really had the chance, and I don't know if that's making you think I've taken Changbin away from you. By all means, I haven't."

"No, it's fine with me." Hyunjin wanted to keep it simple, seeing how red Felix's face was becoming.

"How about that Changbin? Does that bother you?"

"No; it's not like either of you have made a move on me," Hyunjin shrugged. All he could focus on, frankly, was how nice it felt to have a one-on-one conversation with someone other than Changbin.

"Actually..." Felix started, cringing at himself the second the word sounded. Hyunjin fell silent. "I can't speak for Changbin, but there were a couple times when I did, and you just had no idea."

"What? When?"

"When we were ten. I mean, this was before I even knew what  _gay_  meant, but I had the biggest crush on you," Felix disclosed. Suddenly he wasn't the only red-faced person in the room anymore. "I suppose that's why I got mad the first time we Skyped. I must've remembered how abandoned I felt, but I realize I was the one who abandoned you."

"I'm sorry, Felix."

"It's okay! I'm completely over it, but Changbin helped me come to my senses when he and I met."

Hyunjin cocked his brow. "And what are your senses?"

"That I'm gay," Felix giggled, earning a blithe reaction out of Hyunjin as well. "You promise it doesn't bug you?"

"I promise," Hyunjin confirmed, sticking out his pinky. He had never done that, at least not recently; it had just seemed like an old-timey custom of theirs, and it certainly was, because the Australian boy delivered his little finger to Hyunjin.

"Pinky promise," Felix narrated, his voice reduced down to a whisper. "We used to do that a lot. Do you remember that far back?"

"Not really," Hyunjin said. His lips formed into a nostalgic smile, even though he couldn't envisage all the times he and Felix had pinky-promised as tiny children. "I wish I did though. Maybe it'll come to me."

"Hope so."


	22. fresh prince intro lyrics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down

[just click](https://youtu.be/QW1-nhUXdbQ)

"Felix and I are going to record some demos for a bit."

"Felix and I watched that movie in Australia!"

"Felix told me this joke after you guys went to sleep..."

 _Felix this, Felix that..._ Not to imply it was annoying, but Hyunjin was ready to go on a date with Chris if it meant he would hear less Felix talk. It had only been twenty-four hours since they reconciled; Hyunjin was bad at reading new people's expressions, but he exchanged some glances with Chris that could only mean the feeling was mutual. Even now, Changbin and Felix were under the same blanket as the four of them were having TV dinner together.

They were halfway through _Train to Busan_ , a movie Hyunjin didn't even want to finish watching, when he finally resolved to take a walk. His legs were still achy but he needed a good stretch anyway.

"I'm going for a walk," he announced, grabbing his crutches from around the side of the couch and forcing himself off the cushion he had sunken into.

"Aww, the best part is coming up!" Felix whined.

"Don't hurt yourself out there," Changbin said, eyeing Hyunjin and the crutches cautiously. "Remember what happened last time?"

"I'll be fine," Hyunjin assured him. "Tell me how it ends."

"You know what," said Chris suddenly, "why don't I go with you? I've seen this a million times." Hyunjin just nodded, making his way to the door to get a head start.

As soon as the both of them were outdoors, it became silent. The air was cool and comfortable; Hyunjin couldn't remember the last time he sniffed the outside air with intent, but this was nice. Chris seemed to notice and chuckled to himself.

"Are you an outside person?" he asked, sticking his fingers in his front pockets but leaving the thumbs out. They made a left once they reached the sidewalk.

"I bet," Hyunjin answered, watching Chris's feet. The shoes he wore were clean and vibrant Nike sneakers, ones he wished he had the money for. "I haven't had much time or energy to go outside on my own though. Last time I did..."

"Yeah?" It wasn't an interruption--it was more of a good listening skill, and Hyunjin was relieved that Chris was interested.

"I fell on the sidewalk and passed out," he admitted. "It's a long story, but I got in trouble with my mom after that."

"Enough said," Chris nodded. "I broke my arm in fifth grade, and my dad yelled at me. Can you believe that?"

"Sucks to be you," Hyunjin joked, receiving a punch in the shoulder and nearly losing balance. "Why'd you want to come with me?"

"We haven't officially gotten closer," he said simply. "I mean, we met through what, a Skype call? Back in 2010. Then Felix said you were gone, and we never talked more."

"That's right," said the other, only accepting this as true because he didn't know why else Chris Bang would have existed during his coma. "So that's how we met, but how did you and Felix meet?"

"Oh, in speech class!" Chris nodded with a soft smile as he traveled back to the day he met Felix. "I had a speech impediment, and he wasn't fluent yet--we got along quite well in the shadows of everybody else."

"He wasn't fluent yet?" Hyunjin asked. "I would've expected his parents to get him classes or something before he moved."

"Yeah, it's a shame," Chris sighed. "But after I got my speech impediment cleared out of the way, I helped him with his English and he helped me with my Korean. I was trying to learn it so I could talk to my grandparents the next time they came over." There was a pause, and then Chris added, "When we were inside, you looked a little bored. All good?"

Hyunjin had to formulate his sentences carefully before deciding they were accurate enough: "Sort of. Since we're being honest here--right?--I'm getting a little tired of Changbin and Felix being so clingy."

This, to Hyunjin's surprise, stirred a sigh out of Chris. They were walking slowly but still advancing toward an indefinite location; Chris struggled to find his words but finally said, "You know they dated one summer, right? This is their first time being together since. I remember when Changbin left to go back to Korea; Felix came to my house and cried."

"He cried because Changbin left?" Hyunjin repeated, his eyes widening. He envisioned himself as a ten-year-old, unsteadily running to some unnamed best friend's house because his other best friend had just moved to the opposite end of the globe. That hadn't really happened, of course; he got drunk numerous times to deal with the pain instead.

Just then, as Chris nodded his head innocently, Hyunjin fell quiet to think about the matter. It was sweet, actually, something he couldn't get upset about, and it took him until now to recall how big Changbin smiled every time the name Felix came up in their conversations. Changbin behaved this way ever since Hyunjin was in the hospital, so Hyunjin owed it to him to let him have a moment with Felix. His _boyfriend_.

"All right," Hyunjin acknowledged, "that's respectable."

"Glad you agree. Hey, are we going anywhere in particular?"

"No," Hyunjin shrugged. He glimpsed his surroundings and felt his face flush when he realized where he and Chris were headed. "Let's turn around."

"What? Why?"

"Please," he said curtly, already heading in the direction of Changbin's house. Chris followed despite his confusion. "We were getting close to my house."

"What's wrong with that?" Chris wondered.

Hyunjin stopped walking for a second, partly to take a break but also so he could explain to Chris what the issue was. "It's a really long story, but I'll tell you if you want."

"Okay." Chris was all ears. He brushed his hair back with one hand and shifted his weight, thinking it would be a while before Hyunjin decided to start walking again.

"Basically, what I'm going to tell you is why I'm on these crutches," Hyunjin started. He took in a deep breath, cocking his head towards the Seo residence so they'd get back on their way: "In fact, the only reason I can even walk out here with you is 'cause of Changbin's mom..."

_fin._


End file.
